Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Tis the Season...

Tis the Season all right...tis the season for crazy shopping malls, busy streets, loud and obnoxous prople, and "Holiday Cheer". Tis also the season for robbery...apparently. A few days before uncles house was broken into and robbed. They stole the T.V., some computer stuff, his daughter's money (they were saving for a holiday), his gun...and a bunch of gifts that were under the tree, along with some other miscilanous stuff...Merry Fuckin' Christmas...huh? What ever happened to the spirit of brotherly or sisterly love? When did Christmas become such a commersialized halmark holiday? I am sorry if this blog offends anyone or crushes your Christmas spirit...that is why I waited till after the actual holiday to post this...but it has to be said...We are all in it for the gifts...We may say that we don't want anything, or are more intrested in what we give than receive...but deep down there is a satisfaction in the greed of "wanting". Christmas is a time of joy and happiness...why does it take a holiday for us to be kind to one another? I saw on the news that on Christmas Eve eve...(the night before christmas eve) Edmonton had it's 37th murder. Why do we feel we need an excuse to give gifts to the people we love? All of our holidays are turning into a huge deal...and we have to "get" something for every little occasion...most people don't even remember the real meaning behind Christmas, or Easter, or Valentines Day. I know not everyone is religious, and believes in "Christ" or "The Bible", or even "God" for that matter (I happen to be one of those non-believers)...but there is more to these Holidays than just some old religious hoowey. We need to get back to our roots...find the true meaning of Christmas...and stop needing excuses for everything we do... For example..."New Years Resolutions". We wait for the new year to promise ourselves that we are going to get healthy, exercise more, stop smoking, or whatever...we all know we are going to break our why do we even bother making them? If we don't have the will power anyother time of the year...why would New Years be any different?

Ok...I think I'm done ranting now...*takes a deep breath to calm herself*...Ok...I am going to be starting a new blog...explicitly for my new story...I'll let you all know when and such...In the mean time...Happy Holidays...(pretty ironic me saying that after my rant huh?) Have a "Vin"-tastic New Year!

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

My Trip to the Hospital!

Ok...I know you are all wondering what I was doing at the I will give you a short may be long...but whatever...I'll tell you...

Back in high school, as some of you may remember, I had a cist in my neck. Well I had it removed back then, and looks as if it is back. And it was being that I had a huge lump under my chin...on my neck...I went to the hospital...even though I hate hospitals and doctors...although the doctor I had at the Hospital could change my mind about the last... Anyway...Sholean came with me...cuz I'm a chicken shit...and Hospitals are boring... So...after a semi short wait in the waiting room, they took us into the actual exam room...where we had an even longer wait...but while we were waiting we were checking out the doctors and EMT's. Which is legal...right? Well they couldn't prove it we were checking out the doctors...there was one who had his back to us and all we saw was his butt...and let me tell you...that was one fine ass! So we were being girly and giggling and checking him out...then I said..."I hope he's my doctor..." and well...turns out a few seconds later he turned and walked into our room...was I ever excited. His name was Dr. Oland...and wow... He was gentle, soft spoken, had amazing eyes, a great physique, not to mention a really nice ass, and a great smile...and this may sound weird to you...but I like them...Hands...he had really nice hands... Anyway...he was super cute...and really nice...So here's a picture of him...

Anyway...back to the lump...He gave me some medication for the infection...which unfortunatly make me nausous...but atleast it looks like I only have a small adams apple, rather than a goiter... So now I have an appointment for an ultrasound of my neck...then in a few months I have an appointment with a nose and throat specialist/surgeon to decide if I need to have it removed again... The last time they removed it they just froze my neck and cut it out there...I was awake for it...sick...but whatever. This time I may have to be put under and they may be going in under my tounge...gross...

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Coming Soon...To a Blog Near You!

The continuation of our story...Which I am aptly naming "Blood and Steel"...not sure why...just thought it am not going to synopsize this time...I suck at'll just have to remember for yourself! Oh... and let me know what you think of the title...if you like it...if you don't...and suggestions...etc. Well...I am now going to continue with the story...We ended with Maya being captured, she is now tied to a chair in an empty room, laughing hystarically...

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

It's my Birthday, It's my Birthday...*dancing badly*

I was like "Wheeeew!" Cuz it's my birthday...And this one time I realized it was my Birthday and I got excited and I was like "WEEEEEEE" *said really really fast and high pitched* So...yeah...Happy birthday to me! I am offically 23 years old'm only 7 years away from being older than dirt...nice...Did you know that dirt only has a 30 year life span? Well it if you are over are offically older than dirt! Yup...don't that feel grand? is my I can do what ever I want...(not really...I still have to work...BLECH!) Wouldn't it be cool if on your got super powers for just that one day a year? I would love that... I'm not talking about just one...I'm talking ALL...You would get the flying privilages, x-ray vision, super strength, super speed, laser beams shooting from your eyes, weather control, super healing abilities, shooting fire and ice, telepathy, telekenisis, invisability (at your control), knives from your hands, and spaghetti shooting from your fingertips...

Yup...birthdays are cool...and fun! It's a day where you could do almost anything...and get away with it...wouldn't it be neat to have like diplomatic immunity on your birthday? And all the people who pissed you off or you just plain don't like...were your slaves? Wow...what a perfect world that would be...unless it was your mortal enemies birthday...that would suck! Like if you were Superman, and Lex Luther was your slave on your birthday...and you were mean to him? Then on his birthday...he'd have all the super powers and you'd be his slave...Oops...Just goes to inforce the golden rule..."You get one free you better make it a good one!" Hehehe...

Saturday, November 04, 2006

You all SUCK!!!

Ok...I know that life can get busy and you no longer have time for checking blogs and writing every day but come on...It has been like two weeks since anyone has contributed to the story! Our "group" effor has turned into a "Me" effort. Get with te program! WRITE YOU HOSERS!!!

Ok...I'm all done with my rant now...

My Vacation is now coming to an end. I had a great time here in Vancouver. Visited my sister and her boyfriend. Visited Carrie and her seems that we were just go go go from the start. I am looking forward to getting home and just relaxing. But I am going to miss my sister, and carrie...and Vancouver too. I love this city. I is sooo full of life and vitality. There are so many cool bands and activities that happen here. Did you know that they have a Zombie Walk? Every few monthes hundreds of people dress up like zombies and just walk up a street. The police end up closing the street because there are so many people. They all zombie walk over cars and down the street...I am not sure if they attack anyone...I think they just walk...but how cool is that? We don't have anything tht cool back in Edmonton...

Ska...Ska is a type or genre if you will of music. I went to a ska concert here in Vancouver. The main band we went to see was The Panic...and they rock! I kinda knew the lead singer from previous visits...but this time I really got to talk to him, and the hot bassest...well the whole band was hot...but thats besides the point! They are going to be playing in Edmonton in February...and I am sooo totally going!

The train ride here was fantastic...and I am looking forward to the train ride back. Super relaxing! I suggest everyone try it out sometime...well...I have got to be up early to catch he train...and finish packing...I'll see you all on the flip side (back in Alberta)...Have a good one!

Monday, October 02, 2006

The first official MadLibs List...

Alright here is the list...the first list...of the official MadLibs thread...Wooohoooo...

Now...this is not a typical MadLibs. It is longer for one...and I ask for more than nouns and hope you can all enjoy coming up with words and reading the entries...Once I get a few lists posted...I'll post the stories...

Have fun!

1. A reaction (ex. scared, saddened, shocked, etc.)
2. Another reaction
3. A crime
4. A barnyard animal
5. A describing word (ex. fuzzy, smelly, cute, etc.)
6. A smaller, cuter animal
7. Another animal
8. And one more animal
9. Something you get at a fast food place
10. A describing word
11. A word to describe yourself
12. And another word to describe yourself
13. A bodily noise/function
14. Something you would borrow from your neighbor
15. A gross describing word (ex. smelly, slimy, snotty, etc.)
16. Something you make
17. A relative
18. Something you would use to make the thing in #15
19. A weak and flimsy object
20. Same week and flimsy object
21. A destruction word (blew up, fell over, etc.)
22. A body part
23. Dead as a _____________ (be creative!)
24. Your favorite food
25. Something else you can get at a fast food place
26. Another weak and flimsy objet that is stronger than the first one
27. Something you do with hair
28. A place where hair is located on your body
29. A thing
30. A place
31. An indestructible material
32. A mean name
33. A thing
34. Another word for "police officers" (be creative)
35. Noun
36. I was __________

Monday, September 18, 2006

I Have a Question...

Ok...I had a thought...How would you all like to participate in the first ever Mel's writting contest? I was thinking of posting a picture, a weird picture, and you all write a short story on will probably be deadlined...and I read the submitions...we can all vote...and the winner will get a prize mailed to them...

Everyone is welcome to join in...

So...what do you all think? This option will be open to people on myspace too...cuz I want as many entries as possible...I might even put a small add on the web...but I will only do this if I have enough get back to me...and let me know...the dead line will be like a month or six weeks...or something...there will be a size limit...too...we don't want people getting too carried away...

But yeah...let me know what you think of the idea!

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Rock, Paper, Scissors...

Sho sent this to me in e-mail...I figured I'd share it with ya'll...

I Understand that scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can beat
scissors, but there is no freaken way paper can beat rock. Paper is
supposed to magically "wrap around" rock, rendering it immobile? Why the
hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors. Why can't paper
suffocate students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell
you why-- BECAUSE PAPER CAN'T BEAT ANYBODY! A rock would tear that shit up
in 2 seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock.
Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper, I punch
them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh shit, I'm
sorry. I thought that paper would protect you"

And How true is that? How does paper beat rock??? Don't we use rocks to weight down paper? So, technically...rock is invincable...except against "bomb" or "liquid nitrogen". But the game isn't called Rock, Paper, Scissors, Bomb; or Rock, Paper, Scissors, Liquid's just Rock, Paper, Scissors...that's it...your only choices...The "invincable" rock, the "candy ass" paper and scissors...good ol' scissors...

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Ahhh...The Memories...

I decided to try and organize my bedroom this past weekend, but little did I much freaking junk I had. Whille digging through this said "junk", I discovered an old one-line story that Carrie & I had written...oh so long ago...back in the days of carefree childhood. Actually I think it was in high school...but it was close enough to our childhoods...

But anyway...I figured I'd share it with ya'll...

Anything written in bold is mine...and "quehhhht" is pronounced as the noise a cat makes when it gak's on your carpet...

My cat "quehhht" on my carpet! And it was quite nasty, I must say, because it smelled like orange toasted pickles. I like eating orange toasted pickles. They're quite good on rancid tuna sandwiches. But, back to the cat "quehhht". I had to clean it up with nail clippers. It was really, really gross because all they ever did was trim the cat hairs in the cat "quehhht". So, against my mothers will, I cleaned it up with the closest thing (which was more efficent than nail clippers) a dirty 72 year old placemat that my grandma used when she was 4 3/7 years old. It smelled almost as bad as the cat "quehhht", but I cleaned it up, then flushed it down the toilet, but my hand was stuck to a 57 year old peice of gum, so I was sucked down the toilet with the cat "quehhht". I twirled and swirled down the toilet, foaming at the mouth and then screaming when I discovered I had contracted rabies from kissing the racoon that was eating tomato peels in my neighbours garbage can. I continued swirling and twirling down the toilet when suddenly I popped out in Wonderland and landed "SPLAT" on the Queen of Hearts. My splatted self ate the queens toes made of cheese and the queen called Elvis to report to Disnyland to recite act 2 scene 4 from Shakespears famous play, "Romeo ate Juliet". And in this play Romeo "ATE" Juliet, so Elvis came up and recited act 2 scene 4, but he could not pronounce "Hither", so the queen decapitated him. And that is where Elvis went after his singing career. The End...

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

The Story...con't... per Kami's request, which I totally understand...*grumbles under her breath*...stupid dial up...this is the continuation of the you can see by the lovely title...*does a pretty cheezy impression of Vanna White*...

So a quick synopsis is in order...i think...

Our story begins with blood and metal, then quickly turns into a saga of stirfry's, and burnt breasts. Spilled sauces and sticky messes. The surprise is ruined and someone's spying on the shower. Out into the rain they go, to a restaraunt where they make a scene...a secret reveiled...then out into the rain once more. This time there is a yelling match and gun fire. An eerie impression of a gopher, and a safe house. SEX, sleeping and more sex. Then a shared shower and more sex...and then the bad guys come in...and interupt some sex...and that is basically let us continue...

Thursday, August 17, 2006

I Am A FREAKING Genius!!!!!

I know what is wrong with everyone! I know why tempers have been short and why people are so bitchy...It is because of Mars. The fact that Mars is moving so close to Earth lately is what is causing the problem!

Mars rules ego, aggression, sexual drive, individuality, survival, passion, courage, sports, competition, war, stamina, independent in relationships, conflict, force, vigor and mechanical ability. It can make you aggressive, impertinant, impatient, quick to anger, and spontanious. It causes death and destruction too!

On August 27 mars will be the size of a full moon in our night sky. It will rise in the east, around 10pm, be at it's peak at 3am, then settle back down in the west. You will not need a telescope to see this marvulous wonder of nature...and we will not see this again in our life times or our childrens. It only happens every 3 thousand odd be sure to watch for it! And try to keep your tempers in might get you into truble...I know mine has...

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

What Will They Think of Next?

Ok...I don't really know who "they" are or what they have thought just sounded like a good title! So sue me...

I have been in a funky mood lately...and I am not really sure why. It's not that I am in a "bad" mood per is just that I am a complete bitch! I am very easily irritated and pissed off lately. People don't even have to do anything...even just standing too close to me may get your head bitten off. It is a weird combination...being in a normal mood but super bitchy at the same time...

The scary thing is...I like it! I like being a bitch to everyone for no reason. I am fed up with people and their happy go lucky attitude...that everything will be ok...and life is full of rainbows and fluffy bunny rabbits...some days I want to rip the heads off of thoes bunnies...leaving their twitching and bloody bodies in a mangled heap of indistinguishable fur and flesh. And you get a has to rain first! And I am happier when it rains.

I am tired of bottling everything up...I have been bottling everything for years...and I wanna stop. I can't seem to get angry when someone pisses me off...I smile and make up some lame excuse for them...and bottle it...and it is getting harder and harder to swallow my own lies. I want to scream and yell when I'm mad. I want to cry when I'm hurt. I want to stop hiding my true feelings behind polite-ness...I hate my happy mask...It feels so suffocating...And as the bottle of my hidden emotions gets fuller I get more and more emotional and unstable. And then one day...*SNAP*...*BLAM*...I blow up at some poor undeserving soul...or maybe a very deserving soul...but they do not deserve the full front of my needs to be shared and spread amongst the ones who made it...

Surprisingly it usually takes alot to piss me off...and not many people have really seen me blow up...but when I's like a mushroom cloud of rage, slashing at anyone who is know what they say...It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for...there are two kinds of angry people - explosive and implosive. Explosive is the type of individual you see screaming at the cashier for not taking his coupon. Implosive is the cashier who remains quiet day after day and then finally shoots everyone in the store. I'm the cashier.

Monday, July 31, 2006

When life gives you lemons...

You know the old saying "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade"...well I think I can improve on that! "When life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into their eyes!" Yeah...Mel is a little grumpy lately.

I am very confused about alot of things...nothing that any of you can help me with...I don't know why I am confussed about this shouldn't be all that confusing...but I am doing alot of soul searching...and that is always hard...cuz you don't always want to see what you find. And you almost never believe it!

Someone said somethingto me on the weekend that struck a nerve...and got me to thinking...none of it good thoughts. And Sholean said something to me also...she asked me if I was depressed...

A while ago my mom asked me a very simple question...which I cannot answer...She asked me if I was happy...

Why is it that the simple questions are sometimes the hardest to answer?

If you want to know what I am thinking please e-mail me and I maight tell you...but it is a little too personal to be posting all over the web...

Thank you for understanding!


Thursday, July 06, 2006

Ground Rules...

Ok...I have a question about the story blogs... Let's say I write an entry to the story blog...and no one answers it for a few days...Am I allowed to continue my own story entry? Or do I have to wait for someone to post again? guys are being massive hosers and not posting I was wondering if I am allowed to continue on my own?

What do you guys think? I am all for it...obviously... But if you all don't like that idea...let me know and I'll play nice.

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

What's in a name...

Ok...So I have realized two things over my recent bloggings. One...we all use the word "Hoser" alot. Maybe a little too much...and Two...I don't know what "Hoser" means. Besides the fact that it is a name you call someone when they beat your high score, or don't post for a while, or even just because they don't follow your original idea of a story blog...but whatever the reason...You...are all hosers!

So if anyone can tell me exactly what a "Hoser" is exactly, I would be greatly appreaciative...and will write you into a story of some sort. Perhaps even the one we have going on here.

I remember a time when name calling was so simple...*sigh*...I long for the good old days of "meany", and "stupid head". "Brat", and "Loser". I had asked Carrie a long time ago, what Hoser ment...and she told me...but that was eons ago...(High School)...and my small inferior brain cannot remember. So...please...tell me what a hoser hosers!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

"Come into my parlor", said the spider to the fly... is what is going on in my life recently. I was dating a guy. He seemed to be really nice and every thing. He came home, and met the parents and the family, and they all loved him. So why did I have that sinking feeling? Why did it all feel too good to be true? Because it was. It turned out that he was married. You wanna know how I found out? His wife called me. She found out that he was seeing me, and she got a hold of my number, and called me. She was very polite about telling me to stay away from her husband. Apparently I was not the first. Just the first to admit it when called out. But despite what he did to me, I still cared about him. Until his wife and I unraveled the web of lies he had been spinning. It is amazing how quickly feelings can go away when a relationship is based solely on lies and deceit. The person I was falling for did not exist. He was acting the whole time. What did I ever do in my life to deserve to be treated this way? Am I not worthy of love? Do I not get a 'happily ever after'? These are the questions that have chased each other through my brain over the last week. And I have finally found the answer. I too am worthy of love, it was he who was not worthy of me. I will find my soul mate, when I am ready. You cannot rush love. That would be like trying to catch a rainbow. For love is as illusive as the dawn. Ever present, yet never noticed. If you sit patiently, love will come to you. Why is it that all the important lessons in life are the hardest to learn?

Please do not feel sorry for me, do not pity me for caring too much. Pity him, for not caring enough.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

Ok...ok...I give up! hoser! Here you go! Here is your freaking story post! Garg!

For the rest of are the rules...Rule 1. You do not talk about fight club...wait a sec...I wasn't supposed to say that! Ok...There are no rules...just have fun with it and let your imagination run wild. Try to keep the profanity and such to a minimum...and only write a paragrapg, or a sentince or two...DON"T BE A STORY HOG!!! So Here goes...

Crimson drops fall with a soft pitter patter like rain. I watch enthralled as the blood gathers and runs down the edge of my blade. When it reaches the tip, it grows, fat and heavy. Pulling away from the cold metal, it falls, exploding on the floor upon contact. I hear nothing but the beating of my heart. I am seeing the world through a red haze. Everything is slowed down, fuzzy, as I sit and watch the cooling blood.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

I'm a Lumberjack and I'm ok...

I sleep all night and I work all day! Lol...just thought I would start a funny song and give you an ear worm...Mwahahahaha...Anywho...

I am super excited...I am going camping next weekend. I have not been camping for a long time! Last time I went was with my ex...blech! Not much fun! I am really looking forward to this trip, because my sister from BC is coming down, and my new found friend is coming too! Also...I finally get some time to write! I have not had a chance to work on my nover for a while now! It will be nice to be able to sit down and just write! Nothing to do...nowhere to be...just me my family and friends and relaxing! Excpet for...Dun dun duhaaan...The Hiking Nazi!!! "Oh no...not the Hiking Nazi...anyone but him..." Well...the hiking nazi is our friends father...when we go hiking...he goes and goes...alot like the energizer bunny...only more brutal. He hikes at a fairly quick pace...and poor un-athletic me...cannot keep up! So...he is the Hiking Nazi! But that is ok! We still have fun!

I have a question for you all...being whom ever reads my blog...Would you guys like me to post some of my creative writing works for you to read, and perhaps critique if you feel the need to?

Have a Wonderful Today!


Tuesday, March 21, 2006


Yo...S'up homies? That was my attempt at wigga speak! (wanna-be-nigga) So...I got some strange things going on in my life...
At work the other day I got a weird proposition! A guy at work who happens to be a super hottie...asked me if I was interested in being his "friends with benifits" Or having strings attached. I do not know how to answer this question. On one hand he is hot, black, and french! On the other...i don't know him too that is a little creepy! So...this is my new dilema! Do I accept and have great sex, no strings attached? Or do I decline, and continue on with my abstanince? intriguing question! I am afraid that he will find me repulsive...or I will become attached to him...and ruin it.
I know this sounds mean and all...but i find it very weird that guys even look at me that way! I can count on my one hand, and still have fingers left over, the number of guys in my life that have found me sexually appealing. So this is a new thing for me. When he asked me I blushed like a sissy, and laughed a little hysterically...embarrasing...

So...what do you guys think? has been a while...

Yeah...I am a hoser! I have not posted for exactly 28
So...My life...I got a new position at work...I am now in the dispatch office...I dispatch calls out to all of northern Alberta and rural Winnipeg. It is a little stressful...but I now have NORMAL hours. 9am to 5pm! The only problem is that I usually do not have time to do all of my e-mail/blogging. Sucks! Also...the lady I work with...everyone calls her the dragon lady...cuz she is not very nice...she is constantly looking over my shoulder and gets mad at me when I go on the net during the working hours! Today she called in sick, and I am working with Carl. He is English...not british...although I do not know the difference!
At the moment...we are trying to decide what we want for lunch! Not usually a very difficult question...but today it is...*shrug*
I am sorry I have not been posting regularly. But my puter at home SUCKS SHIT!!! And so did the dispatch one for the first two log onto the net, and crash the system...but now we got new puters...nice! So...that is my life at work...
I am planning to go to Huston for a weekend or so cuz my dad is there...with work! And he says if I buy my own plane ticket...I can stay with him, and catch a few jazz shows. Cuz he can write off meals and hotel bills and such on his work account! So if I can work out my expencises and such...I will go down! Also...I am going to Las Vagas in October! Yeah! Look out I come! I might even meet my future husband...Vin Diesel...there!
I will try and post more that I know why my computer workstation at home is so cold, I can fix it...and use the computer without freezing my ass off!
Well...TTFN...ta ta for now!

Thursday, February 23, 2006

This may disgust some...but it needs to be said!

So...I get to work this morning, not feeling the greatest. My head is pounding and my stomach isn't being nice to me. I didn't think much of it...thinking that I still had a week until "George" came to visit me. ovaries thought different. They invited "Geroge" early this they seem to be taking great pleasure in kicking me! hurts. Stupid ovaries. I can always tell which one is releasing an kicks harder! So sitting here at work...totally oblivious to the fact that my "house guest" has come a week early...I drink a lot of water, hoping to cure my headache. Well...when I went pee...I had a lovely surprise...from "George". So...being that I am totally unprepared...I have to spend 50 cents on a dumb pad. I hate them...I prefer my sea sponges...but while I am waiting for more...I use tampons. Have you ever been unprepared, or taken by surprise and had either no change or no place to buy any feminine products? I have had to resort to using either toilet paper, or paper towels before...sick! I hate it...Ggrrrr...

The last time I was in Vancouver..."George" happened to visit me right in the middle of my wonderful vacation...but I was prepared...Sandra got me some sea sponges...which for your information are reusable tampons of a sort. They are way more comfortable, and they last longer and they are also cheaper. Most people think...eww...gross...I used to think that until I tried prefer to use them! I'll put up the link to 'Luna Pads' where Sandra works...In case you would like more information! But anyway...back to the story. Because I was stuck with "George" while I was visiting Sandra, "Geroge" decided to visit her as well. I realized that I am an "alpha female" because when I menstruate, I make others around me menstruate too! Just a weird bit of info I got from Sona.

Well...that concludes my offensive, yet enlightening blog for today! I hope you all have a perfectly rotten day! Because if I cannot have a good day...neither can you! So there! *sticks out tongue and gives you a big razzberry*

That is the site for Luna Pads. My sister, Sandra is in one of the pictures across the top...right above the "shopping cart" background. She is on the left, with the culry hair...

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

A sad day in my life...

This weekend was a sad day in my life. I found out that an old childhood friend was killed in a horrific highway accident last week. The police did not release the name until Saturday. She was trying to pull across the highway, and a semi truck hit her, ran over her car, and drug her 500 meters. She was killed almost instantly, but she was only 21. I drive past the accident site every day on my way home from work. I try not to notice the skid marks and dark stains on the highway, but it is like I cannot look away. I am struck by a deep and profound sadness, at how fragile life really is and how easily and quickly it is all over. I send out my love and heartfelt sorrow to her family in their time of need. I hope that they are not too devastated, and are able to continue living a day at a time. I also ask that everyone drive carefully and please look both ways before you cross any road. It is better to be Safe than Sorry. Thank you for everything!


Friday, February 17, 2006

The Coffee at Work...

There is really only one word I can think of to describe the coffee at work...and that would be "SLUDGE". It is bad...I mean this is the worst coffee I have ever had. But it is hot and full of caffinee, so I drink it anyway.
I used to drink coffee so full of sugar and cream that there was a weird syrupee concoction of sugar and cream. Gross. I evolved to drinking it with just flavoured creamer, Hazelnut being my favorite. Now When I do drink coffee it is usually balck. But the stuff that they pass off as coffee here at work is soooo bad, I cannot drink it with out 3 sugars and alot of that fake creamer powder shit...which only hides the coffee flavour, and all I am tasting is hot sugary creamer...yummy! *Note the sarcasm dripping of of my every word?*
When I am at home I usually drink tea, because, thanks to my dear mother, I get hartburn from coffee. But the coffee at work does not affect me that it obviously cannot be real coffee...Plus black tea, aka orange pekoke, has three times the caffinee of coffee. I like caffinee! It keeps me happy and buzzing and strange enough to freak out all my co-workers!
I just realized that I talk about work I must have even less of a life than I thought! Sad...

Here are some things to do to keep a healthy level of insanity in your life!

19 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit in Your Parked Car with Sunglasses on and
point a Hair Dryer at Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want
Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once everyone hasGotten over Their
Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With the Prophecy."

8. dont use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order diet water with a serious face whenever you go out to eat.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're not in the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You by Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, yelling "Run for Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To the Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

Here are some of the sites that I visit to get myself through a full day of work! Check them out...they are awsome!

By the way...these sites may offen some...they arre not for the light of heart! LOL

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The bosses chair...

Well...for the last week I have been stealing the bosses chair. My boss is away in Grande Prairie. It is big and comfy, and it reclines too...
It is strange how the small act of "stealing" the bosses chair has put me in a better mood. When I arrive at old, hard, squeeky chair is behind my desk...looking extremly pathetic...and behind my bosses desk sits his chair, big, fluffy, and shiney! I wait uncomfortably, and rather impatiently for the office to be empty...then I seize the moment. I wheel my chair out from behind my desk...usually running over my toes in haste...and quickly switch it with my bosses chair...then I sit down reverantly, sighing in content. "Ahhhh...this is the life."
Sometimes I even thumb my nose at athority and put my feet on the desk...
*covers mouth in horror* *GASP*
I usually cannot do this, because my boss always slaps them down...the bugger...
As payback...I have decided to keep his chair...hold it hostage...
In order for him to have the safe return of his chair...he must...
Either keep me in teas for the month of March...or...
allow me the luxery of putting my feet on the desk...

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Valentines day...I curse you!

Well...Today is Valentines day...The most depressing and evil day of the year. Today is the day where everyone who is in "love" has to go out and buy cheezy hallmark junk...I don't understand. The St. Valentine that we all worship and celebrate...Was actually a mass murderer. Before he was hung...For his heinous crimes, he sent a letter to his daughter saying, "Please Be Mine...Love your Valentine" hence the tradition of the valentine! I still don't understand...Why is it that you have to show your love on "one" day? Why not show it all year long? I am a cynic, yes...But I have a right to be! So...Happy Valentines Day...and here is a little poem to show my true feelings for this ever annoying day!

Hearts and roses and kisses galore,
What the hell is all that shit for?
People get mushy and start acting queer,
It is definitely the most annoying day of the year.
This day needs to get the hell over with and pass,
Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass.
I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak
And wear black for the rest of the week.
Guys act all sweet, but soon it will fade,
For all they are doing is trying to get laid.
The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit,
Cause I think love is a crock of shit.
So, this my story... what more can I say?
Love bites my ass... Fuck Valentines Day!

This is my life...

Well...To all the people reading this...Which is like, none...This is a preview of my life!

I am rudely awakened at 2:40 in the morning by my ever insistent and annoying alarm. Crawling out of my warm cocoon of blankets, I turn of my alarm. I shuffle step slowly yawning and rubbing my eyes to my bedroom door, pull my towel off my hook, and wander to the bathroom. As I am walking quietly down the hall...I stub my toe, or smack my shin on something my little sister happens to have left in the hall. Now I am wide awake and hopping around rubbing my shin, or holding my toes...No more being quiet. I am swearing a blue streak at this point, usually I am cursing the existence of little sisters. When I finally feel well enough to walk again...I continue my way to the bathroom. I turn on the lights and am blinded for several seconds. I hop into the scalding shower and let the hot water wash away the remainder of my sleepy-ness. I shampoo my hair and wash. By the time I am rinsing the conditioner...The water is cold...So I do the quick rince, with only my head under the freezing waters...Then I step out and wrap myself in a huge fluffy towel. I brush my teeth, then wander back to my bedroom, being careful not to hit whatever it was that I hit before...And get dressed.
I start my car and make my lunch, then I go back outside and get in my car...Drive to work...Usually spotting at least three imaginary animals that are going to run across the road in front of me...They never do...cuz they are not there...But I make it to work in one piece. Luckily.
I swipe in at 3:45...And start my work day. I log in all of the drivers scanners. Usually having to bend in some very awkward and unflattering positions to reach the ones in the back...
Then I got to my "desk" and print yesterdays scanning reports...Boring. If some of the scanners, which are a pain in the ass, have problems, I have to go find them, and re-boot them.
Then I print the reports again hoping that the problem has been fixed. Most of the time it is but most of the time it isn't. It ends up being a "Network" problem...cuz for some all reason, unbeknownst to me...All our data is transferred to Arizona or something...Before it is sent back to us!?! *Shrug*
Then between the hours of 4:30 and 8:00 am...I have free time...So I check my e-mails, and my Vin posts. And now...I will be checking my blogs too...*sigh* so much work so little time!
Then at 8:00, Caylin...The other office wench, comes in, and we go to Tim Hortons for a coffee/tea, and a bagel. Then I sit at my desk waiting for some action requests...Those are when someone's freight is like a few hours late they freak out and call the call center and they send us an action request to go out and search the warehouse. 99% of the time the package they are looking for is with the driver or on its way...But sometimes it isn't even here yet...It is still in Calgary! So I waste time wandering around "looking" for packages that are not here...
In between the action requests, I play solitaire and check my e-mails and Vin posts some more. I also work on my novel...
Then at Noon, I get to go home. I speed down the highway listening to music and dancing...Yes I dance in my car...And yes I do get funny looks from passing motorists. I arrive home and haul my junk inside. I am greeted by over enthusiastic dogs, jumping and barking...As soon as I am in the house...My dog Char...Runs off to get her teddy bear, and then we go out for a "piddle".
I have to take Chars teddy away or she won't go...So I hide it behind my back and she runs off with her sister Ash fighting and playing. After she has gone piddle, she comes running back for her toy. I hold it out and she grabs a leg...Then proceeds to drag me to the door as I yell for Ash to come home. Rosie is there, chewing on Ashes tail...She is the smallest dog...But has the biggest attitude.
We get back to the house and I open the door. Char runs to her window seat and waits while I give Ash and Rosie their cookies. I have to bring Char hers...She is such a suck. Then we cuddle on the couch and maybe "watch a movie"...By that I mean I take a nap...
I clean the kitchen, and make some lunch...Then Elliot comes home from school... And ten minutes later Mom comes home from work. I sit and talk with mom, make supper then at 6:30...It is off to bed to start another wonderful day! (on the way to my bedroom, I make sure to move the offensive thing that bit my toe out of the way...But it never stays there...)

That is a day in the life of me...Pretty boring huh?