Thursday, February 23, 2006

This may disgust some...but it needs to be said!

So...I get to work this morning, not feeling the greatest. My head is pounding and my stomach isn't being nice to me. I didn't think much of it...thinking that I still had a week until "George" came to visit me. ovaries thought different. They invited "Geroge" early this they seem to be taking great pleasure in kicking me! hurts. Stupid ovaries. I can always tell which one is releasing an kicks harder! So sitting here at work...totally oblivious to the fact that my "house guest" has come a week early...I drink a lot of water, hoping to cure my headache. Well...when I went pee...I had a lovely surprise...from "George". So...being that I am totally unprepared...I have to spend 50 cents on a dumb pad. I hate them...I prefer my sea sponges...but while I am waiting for more...I use tampons. Have you ever been unprepared, or taken by surprise and had either no change or no place to buy any feminine products? I have had to resort to using either toilet paper, or paper towels before...sick! I hate it...Ggrrrr...

The last time I was in Vancouver..."George" happened to visit me right in the middle of my wonderful vacation...but I was prepared...Sandra got me some sea sponges...which for your information are reusable tampons of a sort. They are way more comfortable, and they last longer and they are also cheaper. Most people think...eww...gross...I used to think that until I tried prefer to use them! I'll put up the link to 'Luna Pads' where Sandra works...In case you would like more information! But anyway...back to the story. Because I was stuck with "George" while I was visiting Sandra, "Geroge" decided to visit her as well. I realized that I am an "alpha female" because when I menstruate, I make others around me menstruate too! Just a weird bit of info I got from Sona.

Well...that concludes my offensive, yet enlightening blog for today! I hope you all have a perfectly rotten day! Because if I cannot have a good day...neither can you! So there! *sticks out tongue and gives you a big razzberry*

That is the site for Luna Pads. My sister, Sandra is in one of the pictures across the top...right above the "shopping cart" background. She is on the left, with the culry hair...

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

A sad day in my life...

This weekend was a sad day in my life. I found out that an old childhood friend was killed in a horrific highway accident last week. The police did not release the name until Saturday. She was trying to pull across the highway, and a semi truck hit her, ran over her car, and drug her 500 meters. She was killed almost instantly, but she was only 21. I drive past the accident site every day on my way home from work. I try not to notice the skid marks and dark stains on the highway, but it is like I cannot look away. I am struck by a deep and profound sadness, at how fragile life really is and how easily and quickly it is all over. I send out my love and heartfelt sorrow to her family in their time of need. I hope that they are not too devastated, and are able to continue living a day at a time. I also ask that everyone drive carefully and please look both ways before you cross any road. It is better to be Safe than Sorry. Thank you for everything!


Friday, February 17, 2006

The Coffee at Work...

There is really only one word I can think of to describe the coffee at work...and that would be "SLUDGE". It is bad...I mean this is the worst coffee I have ever had. But it is hot and full of caffinee, so I drink it anyway.
I used to drink coffee so full of sugar and cream that there was a weird syrupee concoction of sugar and cream. Gross. I evolved to drinking it with just flavoured creamer, Hazelnut being my favorite. Now When I do drink coffee it is usually balck. But the stuff that they pass off as coffee here at work is soooo bad, I cannot drink it with out 3 sugars and alot of that fake creamer powder shit...which only hides the coffee flavour, and all I am tasting is hot sugary creamer...yummy! *Note the sarcasm dripping of of my every word?*
When I am at home I usually drink tea, because, thanks to my dear mother, I get hartburn from coffee. But the coffee at work does not affect me that it obviously cannot be real coffee...Plus black tea, aka orange pekoke, has three times the caffinee of coffee. I like caffinee! It keeps me happy and buzzing and strange enough to freak out all my co-workers!
I just realized that I talk about work I must have even less of a life than I thought! Sad...

Here are some things to do to keep a healthy level of insanity in your life!

19 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit in Your Parked Car with Sunglasses on and
point a Hair Dryer at Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want
Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once everyone hasGotten over Their
Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With the Prophecy."

8. dont use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order diet water with a serious face whenever you go out to eat.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're not in the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You by Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, yelling "Run for Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To the Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

Here are some of the sites that I visit to get myself through a full day of work! Check them out...they are awsome!

By the way...these sites may offen some...they arre not for the light of heart! LOL

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

The bosses chair...

Well...for the last week I have been stealing the bosses chair. My boss is away in Grande Prairie. It is big and comfy, and it reclines too...
It is strange how the small act of "stealing" the bosses chair has put me in a better mood. When I arrive at old, hard, squeeky chair is behind my desk...looking extremly pathetic...and behind my bosses desk sits his chair, big, fluffy, and shiney! I wait uncomfortably, and rather impatiently for the office to be empty...then I seize the moment. I wheel my chair out from behind my desk...usually running over my toes in haste...and quickly switch it with my bosses chair...then I sit down reverantly, sighing in content. "Ahhhh...this is the life."
Sometimes I even thumb my nose at athority and put my feet on the desk...
*covers mouth in horror* *GASP*
I usually cannot do this, because my boss always slaps them down...the bugger...
As payback...I have decided to keep his chair...hold it hostage...
In order for him to have the safe return of his chair...he must...
Either keep me in teas for the month of March...or...
allow me the luxery of putting my feet on the desk...

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Valentines day...I curse you!

Well...Today is Valentines day...The most depressing and evil day of the year. Today is the day where everyone who is in "love" has to go out and buy cheezy hallmark junk...I don't understand. The St. Valentine that we all worship and celebrate...Was actually a mass murderer. Before he was hung...For his heinous crimes, he sent a letter to his daughter saying, "Please Be Mine...Love your Valentine" hence the tradition of the valentine! I still don't understand...Why is it that you have to show your love on "one" day? Why not show it all year long? I am a cynic, yes...But I have a right to be! So...Happy Valentines Day...and here is a little poem to show my true feelings for this ever annoying day!

Hearts and roses and kisses galore,
What the hell is all that shit for?
People get mushy and start acting queer,
It is definitely the most annoying day of the year.
This day needs to get the hell over with and pass,
Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass.
I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak
And wear black for the rest of the week.
Guys act all sweet, but soon it will fade,
For all they are doing is trying to get laid.
The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit,
Cause I think love is a crock of shit.
So, this my story... what more can I say?
Love bites my ass... Fuck Valentines Day!

This is my life...

Well...To all the people reading this...Which is like, none...This is a preview of my life!

I am rudely awakened at 2:40 in the morning by my ever insistent and annoying alarm. Crawling out of my warm cocoon of blankets, I turn of my alarm. I shuffle step slowly yawning and rubbing my eyes to my bedroom door, pull my towel off my hook, and wander to the bathroom. As I am walking quietly down the hall...I stub my toe, or smack my shin on something my little sister happens to have left in the hall. Now I am wide awake and hopping around rubbing my shin, or holding my toes...No more being quiet. I am swearing a blue streak at this point, usually I am cursing the existence of little sisters. When I finally feel well enough to walk again...I continue my way to the bathroom. I turn on the lights and am blinded for several seconds. I hop into the scalding shower and let the hot water wash away the remainder of my sleepy-ness. I shampoo my hair and wash. By the time I am rinsing the conditioner...The water is cold...So I do the quick rince, with only my head under the freezing waters...Then I step out and wrap myself in a huge fluffy towel. I brush my teeth, then wander back to my bedroom, being careful not to hit whatever it was that I hit before...And get dressed.
I start my car and make my lunch, then I go back outside and get in my car...Drive to work...Usually spotting at least three imaginary animals that are going to run across the road in front of me...They never do...cuz they are not there...But I make it to work in one piece. Luckily.
I swipe in at 3:45...And start my work day. I log in all of the drivers scanners. Usually having to bend in some very awkward and unflattering positions to reach the ones in the back...
Then I got to my "desk" and print yesterdays scanning reports...Boring. If some of the scanners, which are a pain in the ass, have problems, I have to go find them, and re-boot them.
Then I print the reports again hoping that the problem has been fixed. Most of the time it is but most of the time it isn't. It ends up being a "Network" problem...cuz for some all reason, unbeknownst to me...All our data is transferred to Arizona or something...Before it is sent back to us!?! *Shrug*
Then between the hours of 4:30 and 8:00 am...I have free time...So I check my e-mails, and my Vin posts. And now...I will be checking my blogs too...*sigh* so much work so little time!
Then at 8:00, Caylin...The other office wench, comes in, and we go to Tim Hortons for a coffee/tea, and a bagel. Then I sit at my desk waiting for some action requests...Those are when someone's freight is like a few hours late they freak out and call the call center and they send us an action request to go out and search the warehouse. 99% of the time the package they are looking for is with the driver or on its way...But sometimes it isn't even here yet...It is still in Calgary! So I waste time wandering around "looking" for packages that are not here...
In between the action requests, I play solitaire and check my e-mails and Vin posts some more. I also work on my novel...
Then at Noon, I get to go home. I speed down the highway listening to music and dancing...Yes I dance in my car...And yes I do get funny looks from passing motorists. I arrive home and haul my junk inside. I am greeted by over enthusiastic dogs, jumping and barking...As soon as I am in the house...My dog Char...Runs off to get her teddy bear, and then we go out for a "piddle".
I have to take Chars teddy away or she won't go...So I hide it behind my back and she runs off with her sister Ash fighting and playing. After she has gone piddle, she comes running back for her toy. I hold it out and she grabs a leg...Then proceeds to drag me to the door as I yell for Ash to come home. Rosie is there, chewing on Ashes tail...She is the smallest dog...But has the biggest attitude.
We get back to the house and I open the door. Char runs to her window seat and waits while I give Ash and Rosie their cookies. I have to bring Char hers...She is such a suck. Then we cuddle on the couch and maybe "watch a movie"...By that I mean I take a nap...
I clean the kitchen, and make some lunch...Then Elliot comes home from school... And ten minutes later Mom comes home from work. I sit and talk with mom, make supper then at 6:30...It is off to bed to start another wonderful day! (on the way to my bedroom, I make sure to move the offensive thing that bit my toe out of the way...But it never stays there...)

That is a day in the life of me...Pretty boring huh?