The Story...con't...

Ok...as per Kami's request, which I totally understand...*grumbles under her breath*...stupid dial up...this is the continuation of the story...as you can see by the lovely title...*does a pretty cheezy impression of Vanna White*...

So a quick synopsis is in order...i think...

Our story begins with blood and metal, then quickly turns into a saga of stirfry's, and burnt breasts. Spilled sauces and sticky messes. The surprise is ruined and someone's spying on the shower. Out into the rain they go, to a restaraunt where they make a scene...a secret reveiled...then out into the rain once more. This time there is a yelling match and gun fire. An eerie impression of a gopher, and a safe house. SEX, sleeping and more sex. Then a shared shower and more sex...and then the bad guys come in...and interupt some sex...and that is basically it...so let us continue...

I Am A FREAKING Genius!!!!!

I know what is wrong with everyone! I know why tempers have been short and why people are so bitchy...It is because of Mars. The fact that Mars is moving so close to Earth lately is what is causing the problem!

Mars rules ego, aggression, sexual drive, individuality, survival, passion, courage, sports, competition, war, stamina, independent in relationships, conflict, force, vigor and mechanical ability. It can make you aggressive, impertinant, impatient, quick to anger, and spontanious. It causes death and destruction too!

On August 27 mars will be the size of a full moon in our night sky. It will rise in the east, around 10pm, be at it's peak at 3am, then settle back down in the west. You will not need a telescope to see this marvulous wonder of nature...and we will not see this again in our life times or our childrens. It only happens every 3 thousand odd years...so be sure to watch for it! And try to keep your tempers in check...it might get you into truble...I know mine has...

What Will They Think of Next?

Ok...I don't really know who "they" are or what they have thought of...it just sounded like a good title! So sue me...

I have been in a funky mood lately...and I am not really sure why. It's not that I am in a "bad" mood per say...it is just that I am a complete bitch! I am very easily irritated and pissed off lately. People don't even have to do anything...even just standing too close to me may get your head bitten off. It is a weird combination...being in a normal mood but super bitchy at the same time...

The scary thing is...I like it! I like being a bitch to everyone for no reason. I am fed up with people and their happy go lucky attitude...that everything will be ok...and life is full of rainbows and fluffy bunny rabbits...some days I want to rip the heads off of thoes bunnies...leaving their twitching and bloody bodies in a mangled heap of indistinguishable fur and flesh. And you know...to get a rainbow...it has to rain first! And I am happier when it rains.

I am tired of bottling everything up...I have been bottling everything for years...and I wanna stop. I can't seem to get angry when someone pisses me off...I smile and make up some lame excuse for them...and bottle it...and it is getting harder and harder to swallow my own lies. I want to scream and yell when I'm mad. I want to cry when I'm hurt. I want to stop hiding my true feelings behind polite-ness...I hate my happy mask...It feels so suffocating...And as the bottle of my hidden emotions gets fuller I get more and more emotional and unstable. And then one day...*SNAP*...*BLAM*...I blow up at some poor undeserving soul...or maybe a very deserving soul...but they do not deserve the full front of my rage...no...It needs to be shared and spread amongst the ones who made it...

Surprisingly it usually takes alot to piss me off...and not many people have really seen me blow up...but when I do...it's like a mushroom cloud of rage, slashing at anyone who is near...you know what they say...It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for...there are two kinds of angry people - explosive and implosive. Explosive is the type of individual you see screaming at the cashier for not taking his coupon. Implosive is the cashier who remains quiet day after day and then finally shoots everyone in the store. I'm the cashier.

When life gives you lemons...

You know the old saying "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade"...well I think I can improve on that! "When life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into their eyes!" Yeah...Mel is a little grumpy lately.

I am very confused about alot of things...nothing that any of you can help me with...I don't know why I am confussed about this stuff...it shouldn't be all that confusing...but I am doing alot of soul searching...and that is always hard...cuz you don't always want to see what you find. And you almost never believe it!

Someone said somethingto me on the weekend that struck a nerve...and got me to thinking...none of it good thoughts. And Sholean said something to me also...she asked me if I was depressed...

A while ago my mom asked me a very simple question...which I cannot answer...She asked me if I was happy...

Why is it that the simple questions are sometimes the hardest to answer?

If you want to know what I am thinking please e-mail me and I maight tell you...but it is a little too personal to be posting all over the web...

Thank you for understanding!

Mel

Ground Rules...

Ok...I have a question about the story blogs... Let's say I write an entry to the story blog...and no one answers it for a few days...Am I allowed to continue my own story entry? Or do I have to wait for someone to post again? Cuz...you guys are being massive hosers and not posting anymore...so I was wondering if I am allowed to continue on my own?

What do you guys think? I am all for it...obviously... But if you all don't like that idea...let me know and I'll play nice.

What's in a name...

Ok...So I have realized two things over my recent bloggings. One...we all use the word "Hoser" alot. Maybe a little too much...and Two...I don't know what "Hoser" means. Besides the fact that it is a name you call someone when they beat your high score, or don't post for a while, or even just because they don't follow your original idea of a story blog...but whatever the reason...You...are all hosers!

So if anyone can tell me exactly what a "Hoser" is exactly, I would be greatly appreaciative...and will write you into a story of some sort. Perhaps even the one we have going on here.

I remember a time when name calling was so simple...*sigh*...I long for the good old days of "meany", and "stupid head". "Brat", and "Loser". I had asked Carrie a long time ago, what Hoser ment...and she told me...but that was eons ago...(High School)...and my small inferior brain cannot remember. So...please...tell me what a hoser is...you hosers!

"Come into my parlor", said the spider to the fly...

Ok...here is what is going on in my life recently. I was dating a guy. He seemed to be really nice and every thing. He came home, and met the parents and the family, and they all loved him. So why did I have that sinking feeling? Why did it all feel too good to be true? Because it was. It turned out that he was married. You wanna know how I found out? His wife called me. She found out that he was seeing me, and she got a hold of my number, and called me. She was very polite about telling me to stay away from her husband. Apparently I was not the first. Just the first to admit it when called out. But despite what he did to me, I still cared about him. Until his wife and I unraveled the web of lies he had been spinning. It is amazing how quickly feelings can go away when a relationship is based solely on lies and deceit. The person I was falling for did not exist. He was acting the whole time. What did I ever do in my life to deserve to be treated this way? Am I not worthy of love? Do I not get a 'happily ever after'? These are the questions that have chased each other through my brain over the last week. And I have finally found the answer. I too am worthy of love, it was he who was not worthy of me. I will find my soul mate, when I am ready. You cannot rush love. That would be like trying to catch a rainbow. For love is as illusive as the dawn. Ever present, yet never noticed. If you sit patiently, love will come to you. Why is it that all the important lessons in life are the hardest to learn?

Please do not feel sorry for me, do not pity me for caring too much. Pity him, for not caring enough.

Ok...ok...I give up!

Ok...Carrie...you hoser! Here you go! Here is your freaking story post! Garg!

For the rest of you...here are the rules...Rule 1. You do not talk about fight club...wait a sec...I wasn't supposed to say that! Ok...There are no rules...just have fun with it and let your imagination run wild. Try to keep the profanity and such to a minimum...and only write a paragrapg, or a sentince or two...DON"T BE A STORY HOG!!! So Here goes...

Crimson drops fall with a soft pitter patter like rain. I watch enthralled as the blood gathers and runs down the edge of my blade. When it reaches the tip, it grows, fat and heavy. Pulling away from the cold metal, it falls, exploding on the floor upon contact. I hear nothing but the beating of my heart. I am seeing the world through a red haze. Everything is slowed down, fuzzy, as I sit and watch the cooling blood.

I'm a Lumberjack and I'm ok...

I sleep all night and I work all day! Lol...just thought I would start a funny song and give you an ear worm...Mwahahahaha...Anywho...

I am super excited...I am going camping next weekend. I have not been camping for a long time! Last time I went was with my ex...blech! Not much fun! I am really looking forward to this trip, because my sister from BC is coming down, and my new found friend is coming too! Also...I finally get some time to write! I have not had a chance to work on my nover for a while now! It will be nice to be able to sit down and just write! Nothing to do...nowhere to be...just me my family and friends and nature...Ahhh...so relaxing! Excpet for...Dun dun duhaaan...The Hiking Nazi!!! "Oh no...not the Hiking Nazi...anyone but him..." Well...the hiking nazi is our friends father...when we go hiking...he goes and goes...alot like the energizer bunny...only more brutal. He hikes at a fairly quick pace...and poor un-athletic me...cannot keep up! So...he is the Hiking Nazi! But that is ok! We still have fun!

I have a question for you all...being whom ever reads my blog...Would you guys like me to post some of my creative writing works for you to read, and perhaps critique if you feel the need to?

Have a Wonderful Today!

Mel

Men...

Yo...S'up homies? That was my attempt at wigga speak! (wanna-be-nigga) So...I got some strange things going on in my life...
At work the other day I got a weird proposition! A guy at work who happens to be a super hottie...asked me if I was interested in being his "friends with benifits" Or having sex...no strings attached. I do not know how to answer this question. On one hand he is hot, black, and french! On the other...i don't know him too well...plus that is a little creepy! So...this is my new dilema! Do I accept and have great sex, no strings attached? Or do I decline, and continue on with my abstanince? Hmmm...an intriguing question! I am afraid that he will find me repulsive...or I will become attached to him...and ruin it.
I know this sounds mean and all...but i find it very weird that guys even look at me that way! I can count on my one hand, and still have fingers left over, the number of guys in my life that have found me sexually appealing. So this is a new thing for me. When he asked me I blushed like a sissy, and laughed a little hysterically...embarrasing...

So...what do you guys think?

Wow...it has been a while...

Yeah...I am a hoser! I have not posted for exactly 28 days...lol...
So...My life...I got a new position at work...I am now in the dispatch office...I dispatch calls out to all of northern Alberta and rural Winnipeg. It is a little stressful...but I now have NORMAL hours. 9am to 5pm! The only problem is that I usually do not have time to do all of my e-mail/blogging. Sucks! Also...the lady I work with...everyone calls her the dragon lady...cuz she is not very nice...she is constantly looking over my shoulder and gets mad at me when I go on the net during the working hours! Today she called in sick, and I am working with Carl. He is English...not british...although I do not know the difference!
At the moment...we are trying to decide what we want for lunch! Not usually a very difficult question...but today it is...*shrug*
I am sorry I have not been posting regularly. But my puter at home SUCKS SHIT!!! And so did the dispatch one for the first two weeks...you log onto the net, and crash the system...but now we got new puters...nice! So...that is my life at work...
I am planning to go to Huston for a weekend or so cuz my dad is there...with work! And he says if I buy my own plane ticket...I can stay with him, and catch a few jazz shows. Cuz he can write off meals and hotel bills and such on his work account! So if I can work out my expencises and such...I will go down! Also...I am going to Las Vagas in October! Yeah! Look out Vagas...here I come! I might even meet my future husband...Vin Diesel...there!
I will try and post more offten...now that I know why my computer workstation at home is so cold, I can fix it...and use the computer without freezing my ass off!
Well...TTFN...ta ta for now!

This may disgust some...but it needs to be said!

So...I get to work this morning, not feeling the greatest. My head is pounding and my stomach isn't being nice to me. I didn't think much of it...thinking that I still had a week until "George" came to visit me. Well...my ovaries thought different. They invited "Geroge" early this month...now they seem to be taking great pleasure in kicking me! Oh...it hurts. Stupid ovaries. I can always tell which one is releasing an egg...it kicks harder! So sitting here at work...totally oblivious to the fact that my "house guest" has come a week early...I drink a lot of water, hoping to cure my headache. Well...when I went pee...I had a lovely surprise...from "George". So...being that I am totally unprepared...I have to spend 50 cents on a dumb pad. I hate them...I prefer my sea sponges...but while I am waiting for more...I use tampons. Have you ever been unprepared, or taken by surprise and had either no change or no place to buy any feminine products? I have had to resort to using either toilet paper, or paper towels before...sick! I hate it...Ggrrrr...

The last time I was in Vancouver..."George" happened to visit me right in the middle of my wonderful vacation...but I was prepared...Sandra got me some sea sponges...which for your information are reusable tampons of a sort. They are way more comfortable, and they last longer and they are also cheaper. Most people think...eww...gross...I used to think that until I tried them...now...I prefer to use them! I'll put up the link to 'Luna Pads' where Sandra works...In case you would like more information! But anyway...back to the story. Because I was stuck with "George" while I was visiting Sandra, "Geroge" decided to visit her as well. I realized that I am an "alpha female" because when I menstruate, I make others around me menstruate too! Just a weird bit of info I got from Sona.

Well...that concludes my offensive, yet enlightening blog for today! I hope you all have a perfectly rotten day! Because if I cannot have a good day...neither can you! So there! *sticks out tongue and gives you a big razzberry*

http://www.lunapads.com/home.php?currency=CAD

That is the site for Luna Pads. My sister, Sandra is in one of the pictures across the top...right above the "shopping cart" logo...pink background. She is on the left, with the culry hair...

A sad day in my life...

This weekend was a sad day in my life. I found out that an old childhood friend was killed in a horrific highway accident last week. The police did not release the name until Saturday. She was trying to pull across the highway, and a semi truck hit her, ran over her car, and drug her 500 meters. She was killed almost instantly, but she was only 21. I drive past the accident site every day on my way home from work. I try not to notice the skid marks and dark stains on the highway, but it is like I cannot look away. I am struck by a deep and profound sadness, at how fragile life really is and how easily and quickly it is all over. I send out my love and heartfelt sorrow to her family in their time of need. I hope that they are not too devastated, and are able to continue living a day at a time. I also ask that everyone drive carefully and please look both ways before you cross any road. It is better to be Safe than Sorry. Thank you for everything!

Love,
Melanie

The Coffee at Work...

There is really only one word I can think of to describe the coffee at work...and that would be "SLUDGE". It is bad...I mean this is the worst coffee I have ever had. But it is hot and full of caffinee, so I drink it anyway.
I used to drink coffee so full of sugar and cream that there was a weird syrupee concoction of sugar and cream. Gross. I evolved to drinking it with just flavoured creamer, Hazelnut being my favorite. Now When I do drink coffee it is usually balck. But the stuff that they pass off as coffee here at work is soooo bad, I cannot drink it with out 3 sugars and alot of that fake creamer powder shit...which only hides the coffee flavour, and all I am tasting is hot sugary creamer...yummy! *Note the sarcasm dripping of of my every word?*
When I am at home I usually drink tea, because, thanks to my dear mother, I get hartburn from coffee. But the coffee at work does not affect me that way...so it obviously cannot be real coffee...Plus black tea, aka orange pekoke, has three times the caffinee of coffee. I like caffinee! It keeps me happy and buzzing and strange enough to freak out all my co-workers!
I just realized that I talk about work alot...man I must have even less of a life than I thought! Sad...

Here are some things to do to keep a healthy level of insanity in your life!

19 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit in Your Parked Car with Sunglasses on and
point a Hair Dryer at Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want
Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once everyone hasGotten over Their
Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling
Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With the Prophecy."

8. dont use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order diet water with a serious face whenever you go out to eat.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're not in the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You by Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.


17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, yelling "Run for Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To the Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

Here are some of the sites that I visit to get myself through a full day of work! Check them out...they are awsome!





By the way...these sites may offen some...they arre not for the light of heart! LOL

The bosses chair...

Well...for the last week I have been stealing the bosses chair. My boss is away in Grande Prairie. It is big and comfy, and it reclines too...
It is strange how the small act of "stealing" the bosses chair has put me in a better mood. When I arrive at work...my old, hard, squeeky chair is behind my desk...looking extremly pathetic...and behind my bosses desk sits his chair, big, fluffy, and shiney! I wait uncomfortably, and rather impatiently for the office to be empty...then I seize the moment. I wheel my chair out from behind my desk...usually running over my toes in haste...and quickly switch it with my bosses chair...then I sit down reverantly, sighing in content. "Ahhhh...this is the life."
Sometimes I even thumb my nose at athority and put my feet on the desk...
*covers mouth in horror* *GASP*
I usually cannot do this, because my boss always slaps them down...the bugger...
As payback...I have decided to keep his chair...hold it hostage...
In order for him to have the safe return of his chair...he must...
Either keep me in teas for the month of March...or...
allow me the luxery of putting my feet on the desk...

Valentines day...I curse you!

Well...Today is Valentines day...The most depressing and evil day of the year. Today is the day where everyone who is in "love" has to go out and buy cheezy hallmark junk...I don't understand. The St. Valentine that we all worship and celebrate...Was actually a mass murderer. Before he was hung...For his heinous crimes, he sent a letter to his daughter saying, "Please Be Mine...Love your Valentine" hence the tradition of the valentine! I still don't understand...Why is it that you have to show your love on "one" day? Why not show it all year long? I am a cynic, yes...But I have a right to be! So...Happy Valentines Day...and here is a little poem to show my true feelings for this ever annoying day!


Hearts and roses and kisses galore,
What the hell is all that shit for?
People get mushy and start acting queer,
It is definitely the most annoying day of the year.
This day needs to get the hell over with and pass,
Before I shove a dozen roses up Cupid's ass.
I'll spend the day so drunk I can't speak
And wear black for the rest of the week.
Guys act all sweet, but soon it will fade,
For all they are doing is trying to get laid.
The arrow Cupid shot at me must not have hit,
Cause I think love is a crock of shit.
So, this my story... what more can I say?
Love bites my ass... Fuck Valentines Day!

This is my life...

Well...To all the people reading this...Which is like, none...This is a preview of my life!

I am rudely awakened at 2:40 in the morning by my ever insistent and annoying alarm. Crawling out of my warm cocoon of blankets, I turn of my alarm. I shuffle step slowly yawning and rubbing my eyes to my bedroom door, pull my towel off my hook, and wander to the bathroom. As I am walking quietly down the hall...I stub my toe, or smack my shin on something my little sister happens to have left in the hall. Now I am wide awake and hopping around rubbing my shin, or holding my toes...No more being quiet. I am swearing a blue streak at this point, usually I am cursing the existence of little sisters. When I finally feel well enough to walk again...I continue my way to the bathroom. I turn on the lights and am blinded for several seconds. I hop into the scalding shower and let the hot water wash away the remainder of my sleepy-ness. I shampoo my hair and wash. By the time I am rinsing the conditioner...The water is cold...So I do the quick rince, with only my head under the freezing waters...Then I step out and wrap myself in a huge fluffy towel. I brush my teeth, then wander back to my bedroom, being careful not to hit whatever it was that I hit before...And get dressed.
I start my car and make my lunch, then I go back outside and get in my car...Drive to work...Usually spotting at least three imaginary animals that are going to run across the road in front of me...They never do...cuz they are not there...But I make it to work in one piece. Luckily.
I swipe in at 3:45...And start my work day. I log in all of the drivers scanners. Usually having to bend in some very awkward and unflattering positions to reach the ones in the back...
Then I got to my "desk" and print yesterdays scanning reports...Boring. If some of the scanners, which are a pain in the ass, have problems, I have to go find them, and re-boot them.
Then I print the reports again hoping that the problem has been fixed. Most of the time it is but most of the time it isn't. It ends up being a "Network" problem...cuz for some all reason, unbeknownst to me...All our data is transferred to Arizona or something...Before it is sent back to us!?! *Shrug*
Then between the hours of 4:30 and 8:00 am...I have free time...So I check my e-mails, and my Vin posts. And now...I will be checking my blogs too...*sigh* so much work so little time!
Then at 8:00, Caylin...The other office wench, comes in, and we go to Tim Hortons for a coffee/tea, and a bagel. Then I sit at my desk waiting for some action requests...Those are when someone's freight is like a few hours late they freak out and call the call center and they send us an action request to go out and search the warehouse. 99% of the time the package they are looking for is with the driver or on its way...But sometimes it isn't even here yet...It is still in Calgary! So I waste time wandering around "looking" for packages that are not here...
In between the action requests, I play solitaire and check my e-mails and Vin posts some more. I also work on my novel...
Then at Noon, I get to go home. I speed down the highway listening to music and dancing...Yes I dance in my car...And yes I do get funny looks from passing motorists. I arrive home and haul my junk inside. I am greeted by over enthusiastic dogs, jumping and barking...As soon as I am in the house...My dog Char...Runs off to get her teddy bear, and then we go out for a "piddle".
I have to take Chars teddy away or she won't go...So I hide it behind my back and she runs off with her sister Ash fighting and playing. After she has gone piddle, she comes running back for her toy. I hold it out and she grabs a leg...Then proceeds to drag me to the door as I yell for Ash to come home. Rosie is there, chewing on Ashes tail...She is the smallest dog...But has the biggest attitude.
We get back to the house and I open the door. Char runs to her window seat and waits while I give Ash and Rosie their cookies. I have to bring Char hers...She is such a suck. Then we cuddle on the couch and maybe "watch a movie"...By that I mean I take a nap...
I clean the kitchen, and make some lunch...Then Elliot comes home from school... And ten minutes later Mom comes home from work. I sit and talk with mom, make supper then at 6:30...It is off to bed to start another wonderful day! (on the way to my bedroom, I make sure to move the offensive thing that bit my toe out of the way...But it never stays there...)

That is a day in the life of me...Pretty boring huh?