It's my Birthday, It's my Birthday...*dancing badly*

I was like "Wheeeew!" Cuz it's my birthday...And this one time I realized it was my Birthday and I got excited and I was like "WEEEEEEE" *said really really fast and high pitched* So...yeah...Happy birthday to me! I am offically 23 years old today...wow...23...I'm only 7 years away from being older than dirt...nice...Did you know that dirt only has a 30 year life span? Well it does...so if you are over 30...you are offically older than dirt! Yup...don't that feel grand?

Well...today is my birthday...so I can do what ever I want...(not really...I still have to work...BLECH!) Wouldn't it be cool if on your birthday...you got super powers for just that one day a year? I would love that... I'm not talking about just one...I'm talking ALL...You would get the flying privilages, x-ray vision, super strength, super speed, laser beams shooting from your eyes, weather control, super healing abilities, shooting fire and ice, telepathy, telekenisis, invisability (at your control), knives from your hands, and spaghetti shooting from your fingertips...

Yup...birthdays are cool...and fun! It's a day where you could do almost anything...and get away with it...wouldn't it be neat to have like diplomatic immunity on your birthday? And all the people who pissed you off or you just plain don't like...were your slaves? Wow...what a perfect world that would be...unless it was your mortal enemies birthday...that would suck! Like if you were Superman, and Lex Luther was your slave on your birthday...and you were mean to him? Then on his birthday...he'd have all the super powers and you'd be his slave...Oops...Just goes to inforce the golden rule..."You get one free hit...so you better make it a good one!" Hehehe...

You all SUCK!!!

Ok...I know that life can get busy and you no longer have time for checking blogs and writing every day but come on...It has been like two weeks since anyone has contributed to the story! Our "group" effor has turned into a "Me" effort. Get with te program! WRITE YOU HOSERS!!!

Ok...I'm all done with my rant now...

My Vacation is now coming to an end. I had a great time here in Vancouver. Visited my sister and her boyfriend. Visited Carrie and her fiance...it seems that we were just go go go from the start. I am looking forward to getting home and just relaxing. But I am going to miss my sister, and carrie...and Vancouver too. I love this city. I is sooo full of life and vitality. There are so many cool bands and activities that happen here. Did you know that they have a Zombie Walk? Every few monthes hundreds of people dress up like zombies and just walk up a street. The police end up closing the street because there are so many people. They all zombie walk over cars and down the street...I am not sure if they attack anyone...I think they just walk...but how cool is that? We don't have anything tht cool back in Edmonton...

Ska...Ska is a type or genre if you will of music. I went to a ska concert here in Vancouver. The main band we went to see was The Panic...and they rock! I kinda knew the lead singer from previous visits...but this time I really got to talk to him, and the hot bassest...well the whole band was hot...but thats besides the point! They are going to be playing in Edmonton in February...and I am sooo totally going!

The train ride here was fantastic...and I am looking forward to the train ride back. Super relaxing! I suggest everyone try it out sometime...well...I have got to be up early to catch he train...and finish packing...I'll see you all on the flip side (back in Alberta)...Have a good one!

The first official MadLibs List...

Alright here is the list...the first list...of the official MadLibs thread...Wooohoooo...

Now...this is not a typical MadLibs. It is longer for one...and I ask for more than nouns and verbs...so...I hope you can all enjoy coming up with words and reading the entries...Once I get a few lists posted...I'll post the stories...

Have fun!

1. A reaction (ex. scared, saddened, shocked, etc.)
2. Another reaction
3. A crime
4. A barnyard animal
5. A describing word (ex. fuzzy, smelly, cute, etc.)
6. A smaller, cuter animal
7. Another animal
8. And one more animal
9. Something you get at a fast food place
10. A describing word
11. A word to describe yourself
12. And another word to describe yourself
13. A bodily noise/function
14. Something you would borrow from your neighbor
15. A gross describing word (ex. smelly, slimy, snotty, etc.)
16. Something you make
17. A relative
18. Something you would use to make the thing in #15
19. A weak and flimsy object
20. Same week and flimsy object
21. A destruction word (blew up, fell over, etc.)
22. A body part
23. Dead as a _____________ (be creative!)
24. Your favorite food
25. Something else you can get at a fast food place
26. Another weak and flimsy objet that is stronger than the first one
27. Something you do with hair
28. A place where hair is located on your body
29. A thing
30. A place
31. An indestructible material
32. A mean name
33. A thing
34. Another word for "police officers" (be creative)
35. Noun
36. I was __________

I Have a Question...

Ok...I had a thought...How would you all like to participate in the first ever Mel's writting contest? I was thinking of posting a picture, a weird picture, and you all write a short story on it...it will probably be deadlined...and I read the submitions...we can all vote...and the winner will get a prize mailed to them...

Everyone is welcome to join in...

So...what do you all think? This option will be open to people on myspace too...cuz I want as many entries as possible...I might even put a small add on the web...but I will only do this if I have enough intrest...so get back to me...and let me know...the dead line will be like a month or six weeks...or something...there will be a size limit...too...we don't want people getting too carried away...

But yeah...let me know what you think of the idea!

Rock, Paper, Scissors...

Sho sent this to me in e-mail...I figured I'd share it with ya'll...

I Understand that scissors can beat paper, and I get how rock can beat
scissors, but there is no freaken way paper can beat rock. Paper is
supposed to magically "wrap around" rock, rendering it immobile? Why the
hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors. Why can't paper
suffocate students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell
you why-- BECAUSE PAPER CAN'T BEAT ANYBODY! A rock would tear that shit up
in 2 seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock.
Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper, I punch
them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh shit, I'm
sorry. I thought that paper would protect you"

And How true is that? How does paper beat rock??? Don't we use rocks to weight down paper? So, technically...rock is invincable...except against "bomb" or "liquid nitrogen". But the game isn't called Rock, Paper, Scissors, Bomb; or Rock, Paper, Scissors, Liquid Nitrogen...no...it's just Rock, Paper, Scissors...that's it...your only choices...The "invincable" rock, the "candy ass" paper and scissors...good ol' scissors...

Ahhh...The Memories...

I decided to try and organize my bedroom this past weekend, but little did I know...how much freaking junk I had. Whille digging through this said "junk", I discovered an old one-line story that Carrie & I had written...oh so long ago...back in the days of carefree childhood. Actually I think it was in high school...but it was close enough to our childhoods...

But anyway...I figured I'd share it with ya'll...

Anything written in bold is mine...and "quehhhht" is pronounced as the noise a cat makes when it gak's on your carpet...

My cat "quehhht" on my carpet! And it was quite nasty, I must say, because it smelled like orange toasted pickles. I like eating orange toasted pickles. They're quite good on rancid tuna sandwiches. But, back to the cat "quehhht". I had to clean it up with nail clippers. It was really, really gross because all they ever did was trim the cat hairs in the cat "quehhht". So, against my mothers will, I cleaned it up with the closest thing (which was more efficent than nail clippers) a dirty 72 year old placemat that my grandma used when she was 4 3/7 years old. It smelled almost as bad as the cat "quehhht", but I cleaned it up, then flushed it down the toilet, but my hand was stuck to a 57 year old peice of gum, so I was sucked down the toilet with the cat "quehhht". I twirled and swirled down the toilet, foaming at the mouth and then screaming when I discovered I had contracted rabies from kissing the racoon that was eating tomato peels in my neighbours garbage can. I continued swirling and twirling down the toilet when suddenly I popped out in Wonderland and landed "SPLAT" on the Queen of Hearts. My splatted self ate the queens toes made of cheese and the queen called Elvis to report to Disnyland to recite act 2 scene 4 from Shakespears famous play, "Romeo ate Juliet". And in this play Romeo "ATE" Juliet, so Elvis came up and recited act 2 scene 4, but he could not pronounce "Hither", so the queen decapitated him. And that is where Elvis went after his singing career. The End...

The Story...con't...

Ok...as per Kami's request, which I totally understand...*grumbles under her breath*...stupid dial up...this is the continuation of the story...as you can see by the lovely title...*does a pretty cheezy impression of Vanna White*...

So a quick synopsis is in order...i think...

Our story begins with blood and metal, then quickly turns into a saga of stirfry's, and burnt breasts. Spilled sauces and sticky messes. The surprise is ruined and someone's spying on the shower. Out into the rain they go, to a restaraunt where they make a scene...a secret reveiled...then out into the rain once more. This time there is a yelling match and gun fire. An eerie impression of a gopher, and a safe house. SEX, sleeping and more sex. Then a shared shower and more sex...and then the bad guys come in...and interupt some sex...and that is basically it...so let us continue...

I Am A FREAKING Genius!!!!!

I know what is wrong with everyone! I know why tempers have been short and why people are so bitchy...It is because of Mars. The fact that Mars is moving so close to Earth lately is what is causing the problem!

Mars rules ego, aggression, sexual drive, individuality, survival, passion, courage, sports, competition, war, stamina, independent in relationships, conflict, force, vigor and mechanical ability. It can make you aggressive, impertinant, impatient, quick to anger, and spontanious. It causes death and destruction too!

On August 27 mars will be the size of a full moon in our night sky. It will rise in the east, around 10pm, be at it's peak at 3am, then settle back down in the west. You will not need a telescope to see this marvulous wonder of nature...and we will not see this again in our life times or our childrens. It only happens every 3 thousand odd years...so be sure to watch for it! And try to keep your tempers in check...it might get you into truble...I know mine has...

What Will They Think of Next?

Ok...I don't really know who "they" are or what they have thought of...it just sounded like a good title! So sue me...

I have been in a funky mood lately...and I am not really sure why. It's not that I am in a "bad" mood per say...it is just that I am a complete bitch! I am very easily irritated and pissed off lately. People don't even have to do anything...even just standing too close to me may get your head bitten off. It is a weird combination...being in a normal mood but super bitchy at the same time...

The scary thing is...I like it! I like being a bitch to everyone for no reason. I am fed up with people and their happy go lucky attitude...that everything will be ok...and life is full of rainbows and fluffy bunny rabbits...some days I want to rip the heads off of thoes bunnies...leaving their twitching and bloody bodies in a mangled heap of indistinguishable fur and flesh. And you know...to get a rainbow...it has to rain first! And I am happier when it rains.

I am tired of bottling everything up...I have been bottling everything for years...and I wanna stop. I can't seem to get angry when someone pisses me off...I smile and make up some lame excuse for them...and bottle it...and it is getting harder and harder to swallow my own lies. I want to scream and yell when I'm mad. I want to cry when I'm hurt. I want to stop hiding my true feelings behind polite-ness...I hate my happy mask...It feels so suffocating...And as the bottle of my hidden emotions gets fuller I get more and more emotional and unstable. And then one day...*SNAP*...*BLAM*...I blow up at some poor undeserving soul...or maybe a very deserving soul...but they do not deserve the full front of my rage...no...It needs to be shared and spread amongst the ones who made it...

Surprisingly it usually takes alot to piss me off...and not many people have really seen me blow up...but when I do...it's like a mushroom cloud of rage, slashing at anyone who is near...you know what they say...It's the quiet ones you have to watch out for...there are two kinds of angry people - explosive and implosive. Explosive is the type of individual you see screaming at the cashier for not taking his coupon. Implosive is the cashier who remains quiet day after day and then finally shoots everyone in the store. I'm the cashier.

When life gives you lemons...

You know the old saying "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade"...well I think I can improve on that! "When life gives you lemons, squeeze the juice into their eyes!" Yeah...Mel is a little grumpy lately.

I am very confused about alot of things...nothing that any of you can help me with...I don't know why I am confussed about this stuff...it shouldn't be all that confusing...but I am doing alot of soul searching...and that is always hard...cuz you don't always want to see what you find. And you almost never believe it!

Someone said somethingto me on the weekend that struck a nerve...and got me to thinking...none of it good thoughts. And Sholean said something to me also...she asked me if I was depressed...

A while ago my mom asked me a very simple question...which I cannot answer...She asked me if I was happy...

Why is it that the simple questions are sometimes the hardest to answer?

If you want to know what I am thinking please e-mail me and I maight tell you...but it is a little too personal to be posting all over the web...

Thank you for understanding!

Mel

Ground Rules...

Ok...I have a question about the story blogs... Let's say I write an entry to the story blog...and no one answers it for a few days...Am I allowed to continue my own story entry? Or do I have to wait for someone to post again? Cuz...you guys are being massive hosers and not posting anymore...so I was wondering if I am allowed to continue on my own?

What do you guys think? I am all for it...obviously... But if you all don't like that idea...let me know and I'll play nice.

What's in a name...

Ok...So I have realized two things over my recent bloggings. One...we all use the word "Hoser" alot. Maybe a little too much...and Two...I don't know what "Hoser" means. Besides the fact that it is a name you call someone when they beat your high score, or don't post for a while, or even just because they don't follow your original idea of a story blog...but whatever the reason...You...are all hosers!

So if anyone can tell me exactly what a "Hoser" is exactly, I would be greatly appreaciative...and will write you into a story of some sort. Perhaps even the one we have going on here.

I remember a time when name calling was so simple...*sigh*...I long for the good old days of "meany", and "stupid head". "Brat", and "Loser". I had asked Carrie a long time ago, what Hoser ment...and she told me...but that was eons ago...(High School)...and my small inferior brain cannot remember. So...please...tell me what a hoser is...you hosers!

"Come into my parlor", said the spider to the fly...

Ok...here is what is going on in my life recently. I was dating a guy. He seemed to be really nice and every thing. He came home, and met the parents and the family, and they all loved him. So why did I have that sinking feeling? Why did it all feel too good to be true? Because it was. It turned out that he was married. You wanna know how I found out? His wife called me. She found out that he was seeing me, and she got a hold of my number, and called me. She was very polite about telling me to stay away from her husband. Apparently I was not the first. Just the first to admit it when called out. But despite what he did to me, I still cared about him. Until his wife and I unraveled the web of lies he had been spinning. It is amazing how quickly feelings can go away when a relationship is based solely on lies and deceit. The person I was falling for did not exist. He was acting the whole time. What did I ever do in my life to deserve to be treated this way? Am I not worthy of love? Do I not get a 'happily ever after'? These are the questions that have chased each other through my brain over the last week. And I have finally found the answer. I too am worthy of love, it was he who was not worthy of me. I will find my soul mate, when I am ready. You cannot rush love. That would be like trying to catch a rainbow. For love is as illusive as the dawn. Ever present, yet never noticed. If you sit patiently, love will come to you. Why is it that all the important lessons in life are the hardest to learn?

Please do not feel sorry for me, do not pity me for caring too much. Pity him, for not caring enough.

Ok...ok...I give up!

Ok...Carrie...you hoser! Here you go! Here is your freaking story post! Garg!

For the rest of you...here are the rules...Rule 1. You do not talk about fight club...wait a sec...I wasn't supposed to say that! Ok...There are no rules...just have fun with it and let your imagination run wild. Try to keep the profanity and such to a minimum...and only write a paragrapg, or a sentince or two...DON"T BE A STORY HOG!!! So Here goes...

Crimson drops fall with a soft pitter patter like rain. I watch enthralled as the blood gathers and runs down the edge of my blade. When it reaches the tip, it grows, fat and heavy. Pulling away from the cold metal, it falls, exploding on the floor upon contact. I hear nothing but the beating of my heart. I am seeing the world through a red haze. Everything is slowed down, fuzzy, as I sit and watch the cooling blood.

I'm a Lumberjack and I'm ok...

I sleep all night and I work all day! Lol...just thought I would start a funny song and give you an ear worm...Mwahahahaha...Anywho...

I am super excited...I am going camping next weekend. I have not been camping for a long time! Last time I went was with my ex...blech! Not much fun! I am really looking forward to this trip, because my sister from BC is coming down, and my new found friend is coming too! Also...I finally get some time to write! I have not had a chance to work on my nover for a while now! It will be nice to be able to sit down and just write! Nothing to do...nowhere to be...just me my family and friends and nature...Ahhh...so relaxing! Excpet for...Dun dun duhaaan...The Hiking Nazi!!! "Oh no...not the Hiking Nazi...anyone but him..." Well...the hiking nazi is our friends father...when we go hiking...he goes and goes...alot like the energizer bunny...only more brutal. He hikes at a fairly quick pace...and poor un-athletic me...cannot keep up! So...he is the Hiking Nazi! But that is ok! We still have fun!

I have a question for you all...being whom ever reads my blog...Would you guys like me to post some of my creative writing works for you to read, and perhaps critique if you feel the need to?

Have a Wonderful Today!

Mel

Men...

Yo...S'up homies? That was my attempt at wigga speak! (wanna-be-nigga) So...I got some strange things going on in my life...
At work the other day I got a weird proposition! A guy at work who happens to be a super hottie...asked me if I was interested in being his "friends with benifits" Or having sex...no strings attached. I do not know how to answer this question. On one hand he is hot, black, and french! On the other...i don't know him too well...plus that is a little creepy! So...this is my new dilema! Do I accept and have great sex, no strings attached? Or do I decline, and continue on with my abstanince? Hmmm...an intriguing question! I am afraid that he will find me repulsive...or I will become attached to him...and ruin it.
I know this sounds mean and all...but i find it very weird that guys even look at me that way! I can count on my one hand, and still have fingers left over, the number of guys in my life that have found me sexually appealing. So this is a new thing for me. When he asked me I blushed like a sissy, and laughed a little hysterically...embarrasing...

So...what do you guys think?

Wow...it has been a while...

Yeah...I am a hoser! I have not posted for exactly 28 days...lol...
So...My life...I got a new position at work...I am now in the dispatch office...I dispatch calls out to all of northern Alberta and rural Winnipeg. It is a little stressful...but I now have NORMAL hours. 9am to 5pm! The only problem is that I usually do not have time to do all of my e-mail/blogging. Sucks! Also...the lady I work with...everyone calls her the dragon lady...cuz she is not very nice...she is constantly looking over my shoulder and gets mad at me when I go on the net during the working hours! Today she called in sick, and I am working with Carl. He is English...not british...although I do not know the difference!
At the moment...we are trying to decide what we want for lunch! Not usually a very difficult question...but today it is...*shrug*
I am sorry I have not been posting regularly. But my puter at home SUCKS SHIT!!! And so did the dispatch one for the first two weeks...you log onto the net, and crash the system...but now we got new puters...nice! So...that is my life at work...
I am planning to go to Huston for a weekend or so cuz my dad is there...with work! And he says if I buy my own plane ticket...I can stay with him, and catch a few jazz shows. Cuz he can write off meals and hotel bills and such on his work account! So if I can work out my expencises and such...I will go down! Also...I am going to Las Vagas in October! Yeah! Look out Vagas...here I come! I might even meet my future husband...Vin Diesel...there!
I will try and post more offten...now that I know why my computer workstation at home is so cold, I can fix it...and use the computer without freezing my ass off!
Well...TTFN...ta ta for now!

This may disgust some...but it needs to be said!

So...I get to work this morning, not feeling the greatest. My head is pounding and my stomach isn't being nice to me. I didn't think much of it...thinking that I still had a week until "George" came to visit me. Well...my ovaries thought different. They invited "Geroge" early this month...now they seem to be taking great pleasure in kicking me! Oh...it hurts. Stupid ovaries. I can always tell which one is releasing an egg...it kicks harder! So sitting here at work...totally oblivious to the fact that my "house guest" has come a week early...I drink a lot of water, hoping to cure my headache. Well...when I went pee...I had a lovely surprise...from "George". So...being that I am totally unprepared...I have to spend 50 cents on a dumb pad. I hate them...I prefer my sea sponges...but while I am waiting for more...I use tampons. Have you ever been unprepared, or taken by surprise and had either no change or no place to buy any feminine products? I have had to resort to using either toilet paper, or paper towels before...sick! I hate it...Ggrrrr...

The last time I was in Vancouver..."George" happened to visit me right in the middle of my wonderful vacation...but I was prepared...Sandra got me some sea sponges...which for your information are reusable tampons of a sort. They are way more comfortable, and they last longer and they are also cheaper. Most people think...eww...gross...I used to think that until I tried them...now...I prefer to use them! I'll put up the link to 'Luna Pads' where Sandra works...In case you would like more information! But anyway...back to the story. Because I was stuck with "George" while I was visiting Sandra, "Geroge" decided to visit her as well. I realized that I am an "alpha female" because when I menstruate, I make others around me menstruate too! Just a weird bit of info I got from Sona.

Well...that concludes my offensive, yet enlightening blog for today! I hope you all have a perfectly rotten day! Because if I cannot have a good day...neither can you! So there! *sticks out tongue and gives you a big razzberry*

http://www.lunapads.com/home.php?currency=CAD

That is the site for Luna Pads. My sister, Sandra is in one of the pictures across the top...right above the "shopping cart" logo...pink background. She is on the left, with the culry hair...

A sad day in my life...

This weekend was a sad day in my life. I found out that an old childhood friend was killed in a horrific highway accident last week. The police did not release the name until Saturday. She was trying to pull across the highway, and a semi truck hit her, ran over her car, and drug her 500 meters. She was killed almost instantly, but she was only 21. I drive past the accident site every day on my way home from work. I try not to notice the skid marks and dark stains on the highway, but it is like I cannot look away. I am struck by a deep and profound sadness, at how fragile life really is and how easily and quickly it is all over. I send out my love and heartfelt sorrow to her family in their time of need. I hope that they are not too devastated, and are able to continue living a day at a time. I also ask that everyone drive carefully and please look both ways before you cross any road. It is better to be Safe than Sorry. Thank you for everything!

Love,
Melanie

The Coffee at Work...

There is really only one word I can think of to describe the coffee at work...and that would be "SLUDGE". It is bad...I mean this is the worst coffee I have ever had. But it is hot and full of caffinee, so I drink it anyway.
I used to drink coffee so full of sugar and cream that there was a weird syrupee concoction of sugar and cream. Gross. I evolved to drinking it with just flavoured creamer, Hazelnut being my favorite. Now When I do drink coffee it is usually balck. But the stuff that they pass off as coffee here at work is soooo bad, I cannot drink it with out 3 sugars and alot of that fake creamer powder shit...which only hides the coffee flavour, and all I am tasting is hot sugary creamer...yummy! *Note the sarcasm dripping of of my every word?*
When I am at home I usually drink tea, because, thanks to my dear mother, I get hartburn from coffee. But the coffee at work does not affect me that way...so it obviously cannot be real coffee...Plus black tea, aka orange pekoke, has three times the caffinee of coffee. I like caffinee! It keeps me happy and buzzing and strange enough to freak out all my co-workers!
I just realized that I talk about work alot...man I must have even less of a life than I thought! Sad...

Here are some things to do to keep a healthy level of insanity in your life!

19 Ways to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit in Your Parked Car with Sunglasses on and
point a Hair Dryer at Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, Ask If They Want
Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label It "In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once everyone hasGotten over Their
Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write "For Smuggling
Diamonds"

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With the Prophecy."

8. dont use any punctuation

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order diet water with a serious face whenever you go out to eat.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go."

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area And Play Tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're not in the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You by Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.


17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, yelling "Run for Your Lives, They're Loose!!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To the Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

Here are some of the sites that I visit to get myself through a full day of work! Check them out...they are awsome!





By the way...these sites may offen some...they arre not for the light of heart! LOL