Good Friends are Hard to Find...and Keep...

I remember the days of my youth...carefree and not worrying about such trivial things as friendship. Back then I KNEW with my whole being that I had friends and we would be friends forever. But Fate is a cruel and twisted thing...she has taken my friends from long ago, and given me no new ones. I admit, some of this is my fault...as I do not always remember to put effort into it. What happened to the effortless relationships of years past? If you had a fight, you always either forgot or made up 5 minutes after the fact. Now if you have a fight, you don't always know about it, and there is usually never an appology...as pride steps in and gets under foot. I also know I tend to say things that get myself into alot of trouble. Some of those "Open Mouth, Insert Foot" moments, which I kinda wish I could take back, but don't actually want to. I have said my piece and it happened to be my own opinion! If you take offence to it, then that happens to be your problem...don't rain all over me because my opinion deflated your pride a little. I know I may not be so willing to follow my own rules on this one, but at least I make an effort. I don't shun you for voicing your opinion. I don't act all friendly when I am pissed off...unless it has nothing to do with you, then you don't deserve my anger, so why should I show it to you. And since when did jealousy factor into all of my opinions? I don't really care if you have something bigger or better than me! It doesn't affect me in the slightest. So if I voice my opinion about something of yours, it doesn't mean I am jealous, or that I covet what you have, it simply means what I say. And I wouldn't have said it if I hadn't had a good reason to. So stop talking about me behind my back, and stop judging me on that! I said it MONTHS ago! Just drop it and let sleeping dogs lie! I am so sick of hearing about it from everyone! Stop telling everyone! It is none of their business! Why do relationships, friendship or otherwise have to be so complicated? Why do people have to be so two faced? Why can't we all just get along? I just want to live my life without having to deal with your shit! I have my own B.S. to deal with! So just forget it already!

As most of you noticed that was not to be directed at you. I just needed to get it off my chest, but to let other people hear it. I needed to vent. I am not going to name any names! And it's not like the person I was speaking to will ever read this blog...but I feel better now...and that was all I was going for...*sigh*

Ok...so good friends are hard to keep...either they move away, or you grow apart. Or heaven forbid...you have a fight! And I am finding it really hard to make new friends. Don't get me wrong, I am a friendly person, and I have alot of aquantences...but not many that I would call friends, or want to take farther into my "Spiral of friends" Then there are those whom i want to be friends with and hange out with...and they blow me off... Maybe I am doing something wrong. I have probably said something that offended them or they found my dark houmor not amusing. So to the friends I do have, I love you all, and to the friends I have lost...I am sorry.

Tell me a Story...

Ok, so here is the continuation of the "Story Blog". I know that most people who were contributing to the writing of this story are no longer participating, hosers, but I will continue anyways! Even if it is just me, myself, and Kami Akai... So we left off with a struggling Maya up on the catwalk, and Cole in a crate with a gun and a cell phone...

My inner Hypocracy...

I have noticed that blogging, which was once the hottest thing around, is slowly becoming obsolete. Is the fad of blogging dying? Facebook seems to have swept all the old bloggers away up the technological stream. What is with all of these Internet fads? They all come and go so quickly. I can hardly keep up. First it was MSN messenger (which seems to have bared the test of time), then chat rooms, then Angelfire, and live journaling, then My Space, and blogging, and finally Facebook. Are we all that desperate for human contact that we search through cyber space for someone to talk to? I miss the intimacy and effort people used to put into snail mail. It was always so exciting seeing an envelope addressed to you. What could it be inside this small paper home? A letter or some photos perhaps? And what ever happened to care packages? I understand the convience of the Internet for I am an avid facebooker, but I still miss hearing a familiar voice over the phone, or having someone just "drop by to say Hi!" I will say that I am slightly addicted to texting, it just seems easier than talking. Yes I realize that what I say and do are totally opposite ends of the scale, and I do realize that this would make me a hypocrite...but I enjoy the convenience of our era. I also long for the romance of the past era. Like dating. When our parents were young they "dated". And back then it meant that you went out on dates with several different people, as they tried to woo you, and when you decided that you wanted to be a couple you "went Steady". Now if you are dating someone it usually means that you are an exclusive couple right off the bat. I long for the days of "courting". Not that I am "dating" anyone anyway...but it's the thought that counts...

Surgery

Well...my surgery is over and I am now at home recouperating. My neck is swollen and sore...and I cannot talk very well. I am not allowed to shower until tomorrow...and I am feeling kinda uggy. I have to take like...*counts no her fingers*...over 20 pills a day and they are giving me heart burn, so then I have to take more pills to make that go away! I feel like shit and I want to go to sleep...but that is all I have been doing for the past two days and I am bored out of my skull! Some of my pills keep me up at night, others give me heart burn, and smoe just taste like shit...

All I want is a pain free neck and a nice hot shower. I cannot even sit in a bath...unless I tape a plastic bag over my neck...but I have got so many tape goobies on me I don't think I have room for any more... Ny neck muscles hurt from holding my head at a funny angle as to not cause my wound any more pain...and I am just tired and blech!

So yeah...I am done complaining now and I am going to bed...again...maybe when I wake up I will feel better...but I kinda doubt it...

God Damn Cellular Fuckin' Phones!!!!

Ok...so I stole the quote from "John McLean" (Bruce Willis) in Die Hard with a Vengance...but right now it is appropriate! My cell phone is such a piece of crap!!! I can no longer text. cuz it freezes up half way through...I think I have to take it in for repairs...
I wonder when my contract is up and I can turn it in for a new and better phone. I would love to get the new apple phone...but they are only available in the US right now...kinda sucks! Well, anyway...I realize that it has been like, forever since I last blogged anything...and there isn't really an excuse...just too bored or too busy facebooking...that and I lead absolutly NO life what so ever...so I never have anything to say...

As for my story blog...I kinda hit a creative wall all around...I need to just take a day and just write...write whatever tattered thoughts run through my brain...write until my hand is cramped...write until my pen is out of ink...which isn't likely to be soon as I have a whole drawer full of usable pens... I have no creative energy at all lately...I can't even force myself to colour in my colouring books... Blarg! It is soooo frusterating... I have so many things I want/need to do...but my brain is like..."nope...not today...I have to obsess over stupid shit that doesn't matter and make you all depressed instead" Goddess I hate my brain somedays...

Well...I finally booked a nice room at a quiet Bed and Breakfast not far from Carries for her wedding...and I got my flights all in order...the only thing I need now is a ride from Carries to the Farrie station...as after the wedding I am going to go into Vancouver and visit my older sister and her boyfriend. I wonder how much a cab would be??? *ponders* I have got to go shoe shopping too...but I find it really hard to buy shoes when I have yet to see the dress... *sigh* So much to do, and it feels like I have no time to do it in...

iPod

Wow...I finally got myself an iPod. It is the best thing I have ever bought. Also, My family got a Hot Tub! It is very nice. Very relaxing. It is all set up and running now too. We got it on Friday...and we used it for the first time Saturday morning. Happy Mothers Day! We spent most of the day in and out of the tub...with liqueur. Hizzah for the hot tub...

But back to my iPod. I got an iPod video...80 gig...black! It's really nice. I love it. I get to listen to music in my car now...cuz I blew all the fuses in my car and fried my stereo...so for a while I have been music-less...and going CRAZY... Road noise SUCKS!!! But...now I have my own stereo... It also means I can listen to music at work... I mean I could before...I would listen to the radio on my computer over the Internet...but when I was out on the floor...I couldn't...and the boys in the warehouse listened to country...and christian stuff... Which is sooo not my cup of tea.

Well...that's about all that's new in my life now... I've been really busy with work lately...working lots of overtime... And I'm thinking of getting a second job...just to fill my afternoons... But I haven't decided yet...

Spring has Sprung...

Finally, the grass is greening, and the trees are budding. The snow has melted and the air is warming. I am enjoying the first showings of spring. The smell of the rain, cool and crisp. The fresh scent of new groth, it reminds me of when I was a child, keeping catterpillars alive in jars, with holes poked in the lid. I love the rain. It seems to cleanse my soul, which is dark and heavy. I do not miss the snow... I do miss Carrie though. She was up here for a vacation, and a Bridal Shower...but I will see her soon. In August, for her wedding. I am so excited for her and Kyle... I am hoping to have a busy summer, with camping and new friends. Conventions and writing group. And of course, travel. I am happy for the spring, I have been awating these first fresh and crisp mornings like a child awaiting christmas morning. Now that it has arrived, I feel more alive. It's strange how one misses the rain. The gentle pattering of raindrops on the roof, the fresh smell of the rain, the cool refreshing showers that sprinkle ones face. So, Welcome Spring! Welcome Rain, you have been sorely missed.

The Specialist...

So...I had my specialists appointment today. It went ok...except for the fact that they shoved a camera up my nose... That was interesting... So...they sprayed a freezing agent up my nose that tasted bitter and vile and made me want to gag. Then they stuck a camera up my nose to see the back of my throat and tongue...not sure why...but it had to do with my pending operation. So...it is official. I do need surgery again...they haven't given me a date yet, but he did explain why it came back and what they are going to do this time. (Luckily I will be put out for it this time...) The are going to go in and take out the old scar, the whole cyst and part of the bone behind my Adams apple and in front of my vocal chords. That is why it came back to begin with, because the last doctor only removed the cyst, not the surrounding tissue problems... They are going to fix my scar so it doesn't look like a rail road, which it kind of does now...it's not noticeable unless I put my head back, but he is going to make it invisible... So depending on how deep it is and if he has to take some bone depends on whether I have to spend the night in the hospital or not... I have never spent a night in a hospital, or been totally put under before...so I am a little nervous. I have attached a picture to help explain things...



I hope that helps... I also hope they don't book my surgery in August...before or after...but nothing will keep me from Carries wedding...well besides death...

Oh Cheesie Potataoie Goodness...

Wow...it sure has been a long time. Here is an update on my life... I have been busy, working long hours and sleeping lots. I have taken up Karate (pronounced Kare-ra-teeh). So BACK OFF...I have a white belt, and I'm not afraid to use it! Mwwwaaaaa....ooooohhaaaaa...(standing in the crane stance, as seen in The Karate Kid). So...I have yet to even attempt to go Brides Maid dress shopping...which I should probably get on soon... But I'm procrastinating...so...maybe later... I have my specialist appointment on April 2nd...scary...but I will be ok...I hope. Ummm...not much else is new in my life right now. My last class is next week, I get my writing critiqued... I have been craving Pan scramblers lately...hence the cheesie potatoie goodness... I also figured out that energy drinks make me frisky...not sure why I'm telling you that...but meh...What's said is said.

Ummmm...Nothing much else to say...But I have some pictures to post later...So...Don't give up on me!

*Brain Fart*

Ok, so I just realized that my story blog has been pushed off...so I am going to re post this link for the story...we left off with Maya's "Father" coming back to get her help...after a giant hit her and almost killed her...So here is the next...ah...*brain fart*

The New Face of Ultimate Hottness!!!

Speak no evil...



Hear no evil...



See no evil...



I'm going to EAT you!!!



Fishy face...



Gaaa...



What was that?



AHHHHHHHHHHHHH....help! I'm under attack! They're trying to eat me!!!



Nnnnnoooooooooooo........



AAAaaaahhhhhhhhhhh......



Oohhhh...I am a neanderthal.



This is what I would look like if I was an evil villan in a retro comic...



Ooohhh....Pop art...



*Grin*



ROCK ON DUDE!!!



Oh...sucker?



I has a fish eye...



I am an alien...I come in peace...Take me to your chocolate...



Carrie...do you really want this...as your maid of honour?



Dude...I've got the munchies...



Monkey face...



This is what your face looks like to the toilet when you are getting a swirley...



Don't drink the water though...



Look at me...I have a tiny nose!



i haf a iddy biddy mouf



What is wrong with this picture?



Creepy...I could play a good zombie...



Evil grin...



This is my tongue on x-rays...



I think I'm eatting my hand in this one...



Awww...the real me...

Hizzah for High Speed in the Boonies!

Yes! I now offically have High Speed Internet...and I am still living out in the boonies! It is freaking awsome! We also go a new fangled computer too! It's an apple...and so far...I LOVE IT!!! The screen is freaking huge! and there is no tower...it is all in the screen...it's weird and wonderful! So now I can do everything I always wanted to do at home on the computer...at home, on the computer! We are getting one of thoes funky tablets too...super excited! I'm gonna take weird and funny pictures of me and post them all over my blog...Yippie! Just so you all know...this isn't going to be a long blog...just a quick update! Also...I think I now have a web cam too...SWEET...well...off to play with my new toys! Have a Fantabulous weekend! Oh and I heard from the nose throat specialist guy too...I have an assesment appointment on April 2nd...so I'll let you all know more then!

Back to School...

Well...I have offically returned to school! I started my classes on Wednesday night, and I LOVE it! It is strange how much I actually missed school, and learning! Not to mention seeing all of my friends everyday. I long for the care free days of summer and hanging out with my friends...But everyone has changed and moved on...Sad really. This is just a post to tell you about my schooling...Horay! I am taking Creative writing and Editing! Which will also lead to publishing! (To those of you I told before...I got the name mixed up and wrong...sorry...I am really taking creative writing and editing not creative writing and publishing...oops...) I am planning on taking more courses next year, after I return from my one month long holiday to Hawaii! Yehaw! My aunt and uncle are taking me to Hawaii...all I have to do is pay for my flight! And I am going for a whole freaking Month! Yeeeahh! Anyway...back to the school. I think I have finally decided what I am going to do with my life! I had a discussion with my self the other day..."Self," I said..."You love writing...and you live reading...so why not combine the two into a job?" To which I responded..."Self, that is a great idea!" Now, I have been thinking of doing this for a ling time, Sholean and I had discussed opening a publishing company called "S&M Publications" but that seems to have fallen through...no biggie...I still have assperations to become a publisher/editer...so I took the initiative and started taking the courses...with some creative writing on the side...so I can hopefully finish my novel... I am glad to be back in school...I really did miss the learning...and strangely enough the homework too... Weird...no?

The New Blog...

I have started a new blog. This one is a story blog...the story is by me...it is not a participant story...it is just for you to read and enjoy! It was an idea I have been tossing around my brain to all of my personalities and inner critics...and so far everyone is doing ok with it...so I figured I'd post it. Please go, read, enjoy..and let me know what you think! Constructive critisim is always welcome...and please...Be honest!

What ever you do...DON'T CLICK HERE!!!

Have yourselves a Wonderful Today!

Logic is for the Weak!

I recently attended my work Christmas Party. We attended the show at Jubilations Dinner theater. It was a blast. We saw The Gerry Steinfeld show. It was absolutely hilarious. The cast was fresh and funny, and the serving cast or "out cast" was even better. Our server was Bob, from the Bob and Doug McKenzie. Doug was also there...but he was serving other tables. Throughout the night when ever we would see Bob, we would yell "Bob!" So through the night we became known as "Bob's Bunch". By the way...we were the "rowdy" table. All of the servers visited with us and wanted us in their section. We also made friends with Bob's niece, Diana...she was a Brownie...and laughed like SpongeBob. I happened to see a tall young man who resembled Aeron LeBray from high school, so as he was walking by I was giving him the "Do I know you?" look, and he stopped at our table. He was wearing a reflective vest, so I made the comment that I liked his vest, to which he replied "It's to protect me from the Elk." Totally strait faced too. I couldn't hold it together, I started to giggle. "The Elk? I don't see any Elk."

"See, my vest is working." At this point I started to laugh harder. "That's good logic." I said between giggles. "It's not logic, it's fact!" He replied sternly. And then he said "Logic is for the Weak!" and walked away. And throughout the night he would glare at me. It was funny. After the show out waiter "Bob" came out in his street clothes and proceeded to tell us that he waited all show to tell us that his real name was Brady, so we were actually the "Brady Bunch". After the show most of the waiting staff came up and introduced their real selves to us including "Elk Boy (Carl) whose real name was Alex, Diana who's real name was Adreanna, and of course Bob, who is Brady. As tradition after the show I go and get all of the casts autographs...and in doing so met some very attractive and nice people. Needless to say...I had a great time!

On to other news...

I was recently reprimanded for having an original and interesting background on my work computer. They (being my supervisor, and other office staff) said it was "inappropriate" and I should change it to a DHL background.

This is the background I had up. The Used is a band, and I happen to like their art. But apparently it is not 'Work' worthy...I told them that if I had to stare at the DHL logo anymore I would kill myself! They didn't appreciate that...lol...I also used the argument that if some employees could use personal photos for their backgrounds...I could have an interesting one too. They didn't like that...but at least they are being even now. They are not discriminating against my "choice" of background. Hey...at least I don't have my Vin one up...I don't think they would like that one at all...*Grin*