Holy F%*K!!!

Ok, so it has been like, almost if not over a year since I posted last... Crap...

Anyway, I ust wanted to share with everyone...or who ever still reads this... That I have done my good deed for a while... I went out and handed out lunches to homeless people... It was sad, and inspiring all at the same time... It kind of set my my in check... you know? So many of the things we worry about or get upset over are just ridiculous, compared to being homeless and hungry...

Umm...Hi?

So...It has been a while since I have posted anything...besides adding to my story on this blog. I am going to have to get it all typed up nice in a word document and forward it to everyone...as soon as we finish it!

Christmas has come and gone, along with new years. I hope everyone's holidays were merry and bright... Mine were pretty ok. Hung out with my family a lot...was cool! I missed out on some as I was working for part of it...but such is life.

I wonder where Mars is...as I am feeling uncharacteristically grumpy these days... No reason behind it...unless you count the fact that I hate my job... Otherwise I am fine! I have a new car (new to me...it's a 2005) and a new facial piercing...getting another one soon. I got my lip pierced before christmas...I love it. It is really rad! I am getting my eyebrow done again...and my nose too... I also have plans for more ink!

I have finally decided that I am definatly moving to BC...hopefully this summer...if not, then next winter (Jan. 2009) for sure. I am enrolling in the UBC, taking teaching and creative writing...maybe journalism too. And perhaps photography...not 100% sure yet... I have alot of plans and choices to be made first...but I have set it all in motion.

Anyway...I should be getting back to work...that vile thing that tears me away from reading and surfing the internet...and sleeping too... So have a good day everyone...I'll try not to kill enyone in the mean time...

Good Friends are Hard to Find...and Keep...

I remember the days of my youth...carefree and not worrying about such trivial things as friendship. Back then I KNEW with my whole being that I had friends and we would be friends forever. But Fate is a cruel and twisted thing...she has taken my friends from long ago, and given me no new ones. I admit, some of this is my fault...as I do not always remember to put effort into it. What happened to the effortless relationships of years past? If you had a fight, you always either forgot or made up 5 minutes after the fact. Now if you have a fight, you don't always know about it, and there is usually never an appology...as pride steps in and gets under foot. I also know I tend to say things that get myself into alot of trouble. Some of those "Open Mouth, Insert Foot" moments, which I kinda wish I could take back, but don't actually want to. I have said my piece and it happened to be my own opinion! If you take offence to it, then that happens to be your problem...don't rain all over me because my opinion deflated your pride a little. I know I may not be so willing to follow my own rules on this one, but at least I make an effort. I don't shun you for voicing your opinion. I don't act all friendly when I am pissed off...unless it has nothing to do with you, then you don't deserve my anger, so why should I show it to you. And since when did jealousy factor into all of my opinions? I don't really care if you have something bigger or better than me! It doesn't affect me in the slightest. So if I voice my opinion about something of yours, it doesn't mean I am jealous, or that I covet what you have, it simply means what I say. And I wouldn't have said it if I hadn't had a good reason to. So stop talking about me behind my back, and stop judging me on that! I said it MONTHS ago! Just drop it and let sleeping dogs lie! I am so sick of hearing about it from everyone! Stop telling everyone! It is none of their business! Why do relationships, friendship or otherwise have to be so complicated? Why do people have to be so two faced? Why can't we all just get along? I just want to live my life without having to deal with your shit! I have my own B.S. to deal with! So just forget it already!

As most of you noticed that was not to be directed at you. I just needed to get it off my chest, but to let other people hear it. I needed to vent. I am not going to name any names! And it's not like the person I was speaking to will ever read this blog...but I feel better now...and that was all I was going for...*sigh*

Ok...so good friends are hard to keep...either they move away, or you grow apart. Or heaven forbid...you have a fight! And I am finding it really hard to make new friends. Don't get me wrong, I am a friendly person, and I have alot of aquantences...but not many that I would call friends, or want to take farther into my "Spiral of friends" Then there are those whom i want to be friends with and hange out with...and they blow me off... Maybe I am doing something wrong. I have probably said something that offended them or they found my dark houmor not amusing. So to the friends I do have, I love you all, and to the friends I have lost...I am sorry.

Tell me a Story...

Ok, so here is the continuation of the "Story Blog". I know that most people who were contributing to the writing of this story are no longer participating, hosers, but I will continue anyways! Even if it is just me, myself, and Kami Akai... So we left off with a struggling Maya up on the catwalk, and Cole in a crate with a gun and a cell phone...

My inner Hypocracy...

I have noticed that blogging, which was once the hottest thing around, is slowly becoming obsolete. Is the fad of blogging dying? Facebook seems to have swept all the old bloggers away up the technological stream. What is with all of these Internet fads? They all come and go so quickly. I can hardly keep up. First it was MSN messenger (which seems to have bared the test of time), then chat rooms, then Angelfire, and live journaling, then My Space, and blogging, and finally Facebook. Are we all that desperate for human contact that we search through cyber space for someone to talk to? I miss the intimacy and effort people used to put into snail mail. It was always so exciting seeing an envelope addressed to you. What could it be inside this small paper home? A letter or some photos perhaps? And what ever happened to care packages? I understand the convience of the Internet for I am an avid facebooker, but I still miss hearing a familiar voice over the phone, or having someone just "drop by to say Hi!" I will say that I am slightly addicted to texting, it just seems easier than talking. Yes I realize that what I say and do are totally opposite ends of the scale, and I do realize that this would make me a hypocrite...but I enjoy the convenience of our era. I also long for the romance of the past era. Like dating. When our parents were young they "dated". And back then it meant that you went out on dates with several different people, as they tried to woo you, and when you decided that you wanted to be a couple you "went Steady". Now if you are dating someone it usually means that you are an exclusive couple right off the bat. I long for the days of "courting". Not that I am "dating" anyone anyway...but it's the thought that counts...

Surgery

Well...my surgery is over and I am now at home recouperating. My neck is swollen and sore...and I cannot talk very well. I am not allowed to shower until tomorrow...and I am feeling kinda uggy. I have to take like...*counts no her fingers*...over 20 pills a day and they are giving me heart burn, so then I have to take more pills to make that go away! I feel like shit and I want to go to sleep...but that is all I have been doing for the past two days and I am bored out of my skull! Some of my pills keep me up at night, others give me heart burn, and smoe just taste like shit...

All I want is a pain free neck and a nice hot shower. I cannot even sit in a bath...unless I tape a plastic bag over my neck...but I have got so many tape goobies on me I don't think I have room for any more... Ny neck muscles hurt from holding my head at a funny angle as to not cause my wound any more pain...and I am just tired and blech!

So yeah...I am done complaining now and I am going to bed...again...maybe when I wake up I will feel better...but I kinda doubt it...

God Damn Cellular Fuckin' Phones!!!!

Ok...so I stole the quote from "John McLean" (Bruce Willis) in Die Hard with a Vengance...but right now it is appropriate! My cell phone is such a piece of crap!!! I can no longer text. cuz it freezes up half way through...I think I have to take it in for repairs...
I wonder when my contract is up and I can turn it in for a new and better phone. I would love to get the new apple phone...but they are only available in the US right now...kinda sucks! Well, anyway...I realize that it has been like, forever since I last blogged anything...and there isn't really an excuse...just too bored or too busy facebooking...that and I lead absolutly NO life what so ever...so I never have anything to say...

As for my story blog...I kinda hit a creative wall all around...I need to just take a day and just write...write whatever tattered thoughts run through my brain...write until my hand is cramped...write until my pen is out of ink...which isn't likely to be soon as I have a whole drawer full of usable pens... I have no creative energy at all lately...I can't even force myself to colour in my colouring books... Blarg! It is soooo frusterating... I have so many things I want/need to do...but my brain is like..."nope...not today...I have to obsess over stupid shit that doesn't matter and make you all depressed instead" Goddess I hate my brain somedays...

Well...I finally booked a nice room at a quiet Bed and Breakfast not far from Carries for her wedding...and I got my flights all in order...the only thing I need now is a ride from Carries to the Farrie station...as after the wedding I am going to go into Vancouver and visit my older sister and her boyfriend. I wonder how much a cab would be??? *ponders* I have got to go shoe shopping too...but I find it really hard to buy shoes when I have yet to see the dress... *sigh* So much to do, and it feels like I have no time to do it in...